Microwave Mac and Cheese Cup
TW CSA
Hello, I’m a 21F. I just filed a police report, because my father sexually assaulted me as a child and is in contact with my 8-10 year old cousins at a family gathering. I originally called the police last night, and they told me they couldn’t do anything without an exact address where this family gathering is happening. I tried to ask my mother for the exact address of the family gathering, and she would not give it to me. She is aware of my father’s abuse, and has spun a story to my father’s side of the family (the same side of the family as my cousins) that I am psychotic and mentally ill. As far as I am aware of, most of the family is aware of the allegations. I tried to ask my aunt, the mother of my cousins, for the address as well. I haven’t spoken to her in a few years, so I was not entirely sure if she was aware of the allegations or not.
I was afraid to bring up the abuse when asking her for the address, in fear that if she IS aware of the allegations, she may not give me the address if she has already sided with my father. I tried to look innocent and innocuous. She was sweet at first, but after I asked for the address, she silenced her notifications. I asked my grandmother for the address of the family gathering, and she gave me the address. I called the police last night, and they said they couldn’t do anything (my father and mother stopped to rest halfway through the drive from the state we live in, to the state they were going to, to see my cousins. They planned to resume driving this morning), even with the exact address ī provided later, because he wasn’t actively driving to the state to see my cousins. They told me to call back in the morning.
So, I called the police again this morning, telling them about how my father is a danger to my nieces, the make and model of the car, and where the gathering is located. I even mentioned that my father has an active arrest warrant in the state the family gathering is being held, along with the fact he has a suspended license. They said they would send out state troopers. I was hoping they would arrest my dad, because of him driving under a suspended license into a state he has a warrant in.
I called CPS afterwards, and the woman asked my why I hadn’t told my aunt (my cousins’ mother) about my father. In all honesty, I was afraid that if I told her, she would call it out to my parents, and then they would drive back home. I wanted to make sure the police caught them in the act of driving to see my cousins, that way he would be arrested. My mother and father have been holding my pets, and I was in the process of having them transferred over into my name. Cats or no cats, I was going to press charges regardless. However, I had a window of opportunity to get them before making the charges and telling my aunt. I was afraid that if I told my aunt about the abuse BEFORE obtaining the cats, she would call out the abuse to my parents, then my parents would withhold them in retaliation. This wouldn’t necessarily be an issue, but my parents are negligent and violent towards my pets. I wanted to make sure they were in my care before making the report. I would just like to say again, I would have made the report to the police regardless if my cats were in my custody or not. I had a window of opportunity to get them before making the report, AND had multiple other things he could be charged for while on the road. I saw it to be very likely that he would be picked up by the police.
So, my grandmother sent me a message this morning, saying that my aunt told her about me sending a message to my aunt for the address. She asked if there if there was something she needed to know. I lied to her and told her I was asking for mailing reasons. I was also afraid to tell her, because of her telling my parents.
My mother frequently calls me psychotic when I call out past abuse, not just the sexual abuse ī suffered. She called the police on me while I was staying at a friend’s house temporarily after ī escaped, saying that I was supposed to return home the night before and that I left without my meds. I don’t even take psych meds. It’s for Tourette’s. They showed up for a wellness check. She has also threatened to take my Autism diagnosis before a judge to have me sectioned or under a conservatorship. She has been actively defending my father since I have told her about the abuse. She has told the entire family that I am mentally ill, and has actually tried to have me institutionalized before. Basically, she has made it very clear she will try to involve law enforcement to have me put into a psych ward.
I am worried that if my grandmother and aunt have sided with my father, if I warn them about the abuse, that the will side with my parents, and my parents will try to have the police sent to my house again to have me institutionalized. I am not even sure if that’s how it works. I am working with an attorney so that I can file a police report for the abuse ī suffered, in hopes that if I can legally prove my dad is a predator, my family will keep my cousins and nieces away from my father.
I hope the police have already showed up to the address where my father is. I hope he’s actually there so they can arrest him. I have evidence to use, including audio recordings of my father giving me death threats and confessing to rolling in a pile of my underwear when I was 8 years old and he was on drugs.
Based on my aunt’s reaction to me asking for the address WITHOUT mentioning the abuse, I would say she has already sided with my father. Otherwise, why would she be sweet to me at first before silencing notifications? I haven’t had much of a relationship with her before, and we have never had any fights or conflict with each other in the past. I have a feeling my grandmother is aware, too. Especially with her asking me if there’s anything she needs to be aware of.
For reference, my father tried to kill my mother and I a year ago. When my mother and I called my grandmother for support, she basically said that my dad wasn’t abusing us and that he isn’t violent. I am pretty sure she has tried to justify past abuse before as well.
Do you think I should warn my aunt and grandmother, or do you think it will make me look erratic and mentally ill? I did call the police and CPS, so hopefully something will be done. I am pretty sure most of the family knows about the allegations. Based on what my mother told me a couple of days ago, my aunt was adamant that my father show up to this family gathering for the sake of my step grandfather, their stepfather. It almost makes me wonder if she doesn’t know about the allegations? Or maybe she does and doesn’t believe them.
My mother just messaged me, saying she made it to the state. This means the police havent contacted my parents. I am going to contact the police again to give them the whereabouts of my parents again. I am going to tell them about the warrant.
Edit: I just called the police and told them where my father is, and they found the warrant he has in their system. They are sending a trooper down there now.