u/howsinavi

Even as a child, I literally never ever ever wanted kids. I’m only 22, so I’m kinda shocked that the surgeon okayed the procedure so quickly. Bro didn’t give me the whole”you’ll change your mind speech” he just trusted that I am an adult making a conscious decision, I know the risks.

Has anyone else here had this procedure? What should I be prepared for?

Also lmaooo I don’t think I should ask r/tuba but I do wonder if it would effect my playing ability

Ok this is a long shot, it is weirdly specific but I wish I could make a community of people with similar goals.

1. I NEED to lose weight
- I’m 22F 5’7 130lbs, I am looking to lose ~15lbs. Maybe in this discord server we could share meal plans and work outs

2. Studying accountability would be nice
I am a double major. I am supposed to graduate with a BA in music and a BA in English in May 2027. This time next year I will be starting an MM in ethnomusicology. That is obviously a lot of studying + practicing

So is there any scholarly musicians looking to get skinnier? Like this is so weirdly specific I just wish I could find more people with similar goals lol

I always always get fixated on people and I like seeing the uniquenesses and individuality of each person. I LOVE making people feel heard understood when they’re usually not. I also really desire to be taken care of someone’s prized puppy dog.

I think those are both results of severe childhood neglect and trying to “fix” my mom who hurt me so badly by choosing drugs over me

I (22F) just spent like an hour or so fantasizing about my two favorite people. Like, these two dudes (bf 21M and best friend 27M, both met in music college) are the first men in my life who have not abused OR abandoned me. Like they’ve literally never never mistreated me, IN ANY WAY. They also fret about my wellbeing a lot. I feel guilty that I get such a high when they’re worried about my eating habits and think I’m too skinny for some reason. They’re both bigger guys and pick me up easily, I feel creepy for how much I enjoy that. They genuinely care about me and there’s not any cons. That is so unreal to me

They almost fill that desire I have to be taken care of like someone’s prized puppy dog. However it has become a problem. When I’m not around them, I feel so disabled.

My best friend graduated in May, and he lives 2 hours away. I just saw him yesterday for the first time since May and I’m so angry at myself for wanting to be with him constantly like we were during college. I don’t know how I’m gonna get through my final year of my undergrad without him

My bf has very similar mental health issues, works a lot and is doing very intensive research for a conference he has coming up. He over assures me and always makes sure I feel loved but I feel bad for wanting more. Like I can’t even sleep alone anymore, when I’m not with him I sleep very poorly.

I feel secure and I know that my best friend and bf both love me. They are the first people ever I can confidently say that about. I understand that they don’t hate me because they can’t be around me ALL the time. There’s been no issues with understanding this

But I still feel like I NEED them alll the time like a baby needs her mom. I feel so weird and creepy for this

I wish I could get them off my mind, this feels immoral almost even though I am literally hurting no one.

I just have a strong desire for us to all end up at the same graduate school and live together and it would feel kind of like some semblance of a family where I’m almost like a dog bc I’m getting smothered with attention when I’m not teaching or researching

It felt sorta like that before when we spent so much time in our university’s music building after hours and hung out til like 3AM

I am just mourning that this isn’t a found family where we all love each other and will be around constantly, we’re just literally college friends. And moving on and graduating or doing something else isn’t abandonment but it sure feels like it

With cptsd and a history of neglect, I tend to get WAYYYY too emotionally invested. How do I not feel guilty about these attchements?? And how do I feel like a person without them? When I am alone, most of the time I just feel like a small child who knows nothing and that I am only able to flourish when I have my friend or bf around. The only truly
safe people in this world

I just wish I can be like a normal adult without weird obsessions over normal interpersonal relationships

I (22f) started marching band my freshman year of high school and I've done it every year since then. I'm about to start my final and super senior year of college. Hey, getting two degrees (music and English) takes awhile!

Marching band, especially now makes me so anxious. I kind of hate that it is my university's music social hub, like I don't have the energy for that. I love my section and my peers of course, but if its not music related, I kind of don't care. Literally the hardest part of marching band is NEEDING to be social. Even though I have never been leadership, I noticed lately I kinda get thrown into a leadership sort of role because I've been in the band so long. It just makes me socially tired

I feel like also part of it is that I'm 22, most people in marching band 18 years old and fresh out of high school. They're hyper social like puppies, which is honestly distracting. Even though that is such a minimal age difference, I cant help but be exhausted and feel too old if that even makes sense. How can I embrace this instead of getting instantly annoyed when they talk about things that aren't music related? I am also severely traumatzied btw, so like I feel so weird in social settings so much. The only time when I feel somewhat normal is when I'm on the field actively playing and marching

Sorry this is kind of ranting I am shitting myself with anxiety thinking of what to do. Maybe I should look for musicology conferences to make my applications look better??

Currently I am about to enter my 5th and final year of my undergrad, I'm a double major of music and English. I've completed all the music theory and history classes that my college offers. The only thing left to finish my music degree is completing piano proficiency. I only need two more literary theory classes, and then I am completely finished.

There are no other musicologists at my university, so I'm kind of trying to craft my own musicology BA with the double major. I'm very interested in gender studies, sacred music and also popular music genres like black metal. I have a slight jazz interest too and I'm trying to connect it to the rag TS Elliot's The Waste Land. But those all seem very broad, I'm frustrated that I haven't had the chance yet to really focus on a SPECIFIC research topic except the one research conference I presented at. I've received positive feedback on my writing and I technically have published something but it still doesn't feel like enough, y'know?

My university is primarily undergrad serving and not a lot of our students even consider graduate school, and there is zero musicologists. I've gotten good advice from advisors of both of my majors but I still feel too stupid to even pursue musicology at the graduate level. With the options I have, I don't know how to prepare myself. I want to do marching band a 5th year, but I wonder if there is something more productive I can do instead to contribute towards my future as a musicologist.

For those who earned a graduate degree in musicology or something similar, what did your undergrad experience look like and how did you prepare? Thank you.

Ok I’m literally 22, a grown fucking woman. I’m looking into graduate schools rn, like so I am an ADULT. But holy shit I feel so helpless, I’m like a baby trapped in this big body

I just wish I had a family that didn’t scare me, that was never absuive and I wish they weren’t victims themselves.

I have a supportive boyfriend, friends and lots of people actually like me despite my self hatred. But I don’t have love from the people it matters the most from. I just want my mom. But she could never love me like a mom should so I am so lost

Idkdheh just a dumb fucking rant I’m so so upset dude I’m tired of this shit. Anyway I’m gonna keep throwing up now

i've been playing tuba for almost 9 years now and i am just ashamed at my mediocrity STILL. to give you a general idea of my playing ability, i can't play the entire Don Haddad Suite. the only movement I can play with great accuracy is 2nd movement.

my biggest struggle with music is keeping a consistent tempo, i don't really have an internal tempo. i also kind of have rhythmic dyslexia??

rn my routine is what i wrote below but its harder to even muster the confidence to exist inside the practice room now that school is not actively in session

- chromatic buzzing ~5 minutes

- long tones + jacobs flow studies ~30 minutes

and then for like another 30 minutes I work on Arbans. by that point, i already feel like too fatigued to continue. i'm really struggling since its summer and I dont have my professor telling me what i should do. like maybe i'm stupid, but it feels like I don't know how to do anything rn

like i feel like i need to warmup for an hour before i can actually remember how to play?

i'm also pretty mentally ill, i hate to bring that up all the time but there is a weird connection between mental health and musicianship. i also don't know how to entirely get rid of that voice that tells me i suck and need to give up. how would you put that stuff aside to fully focus on music?

i had a joint recital with my bf (he is a bassonist last semester) and i played a few solos and we did PDQ bach duets. it was really fun! i want to do a senior recital, but i am not sure how to prepare or what i should start doing now. my professor is always pretty unavialble

sorry this is a very messy post, im just looking for advice and routine tips. i love tuba so so much, i am just tired of my mental health like Destroying my focus and I don't know what to do when I'm not actively in school.

but to anyone who reads this, thank you! i would appreciate if you could share your routine with me and how you prepare for practice and what happens before, during and after even if you are in a bad mood

I’ve been living off protein bars for months now, but I have such a desire to go vegan. I’ve been vegetarian for a few months now but the whey protein bars are the only thing that’s keeping me from full on vegan.

They all have trash macros, like the only vegan protein bars I can think of are Lenny and Larrys. I do like the Ownyn protein drinks too, those macros are actually really good

I’m so happy! Even though I’m majoring in music and English, creating visual art has always been my first love. Part of me really does enjoy sharing my art, I’m just usually too scared to do it. I hope I can do this more in the future, I love love love love drawing even if I’m not the best