u/mozzabella98

I have worn facial sunscreen today for the first time in my life and it is Dr.G Green Mild Up Sunscreen (mineral sunscreen). I massaged my face with Garnier Micellar Water (pink cap) (I just bought Bioderma Sensibo micellar water instead in case the Garnier is too irritating), and then I rinsed that off, then I used my regular everyday facial cleanser that I have always used CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser.

Will this be enough to have removed the sunscreen? I am anxious because really I can’t tell when it’s on my skin vs not, and I worry about breaking out from it not being removed all the way. I couldn’t tell if the micellar water was doing anything on my face or if I was using it correctly, since it didn’t remove my waterproof mascara, unless that is normal, which I then removed the mascara with my waterproof eye makeup remover like I usually do (Neutrogena oil-free eye makeup remover if anyone is interested, it melts away my mascara instantly like magic).

Has anyone tried the Cakes body nipple covers in size AA-A itty bitty? I want to know if they are thinner and smaller than generic silicone nipple covers like ones you can get on Amazon? I am hoping they ARE.

I am looking to use them as bra pad inserts to replace the foam ones I have, because the bra fits me SO PERFECTLY FINALLY. But I don’t like how the padding gives me more volume, because I feel like it makes my boobs look suddenly fake and people at work are going to be able to tell that I started wearing a bra that has padding. Same with the generic silicone nipple covers, they made my boobs look even more unnatural than pad inserts do.

Basically I am looking for ultra thin inserts to cover my nipples. I don’t want my boobs to look bigger, which I guess is not something of high demand with small sizes. Disposable nipple stickers are a NO.

All the pads I have come across have been too thick and make me look like I have suspicious boobs. The only acceptable pads I have ever gotten were in a youth girl’s sports bra, but it was a sort of special uni-pad that I can’t put in my other bras. I finally found a bra that fits me after using nothing but sports, or nipple stickers, or bandaids and tape for years, but the only problem are the pads being too thick. It’s not a common demand people have I guess, so I can’t find any pads that specify that they are ultra thin. I just want to hide my nips, not add significant size. I’m an AA cup and skinny so it looks pretty obvious that I’m wearing a new bra with padding. I’ve also bought silicone nipple covers in search for something reusable, but they were also too thick and gave me a weird suspicious shape and bigger size through my shirts (Nippies brand on Amazon).

I’m going to the doctor at the end of August, and I think it could be great in theory if it works- Block the adrenaline response/physical anxiety symptoms, and the mental anxiety will become so much easier to navigate.

Edit: Not sure why I’m being downvoted 🤷‍♀️

I haven’t gone anywhere by myself in 5 years. And it’s taken me so much to finally build the nerve to go out and walk. I hit a low point where I realized I’m going to kill myself if I keep living like this. Today I finally started walking on the sidewalks in my neighborhood. I went for about 2 hours, walked to the park too and did a few laps, then I was walking out toward the town to get to the nature trail, and at the edge of the neighborhood, I went down a road that didn’t have a sidewalk. I saw that it went out to the main busy road and I did not want to walk down the main road, so I turned around and started walking back to find a different road. Then somebody’s dog that looked like a large pitbull-mix charged at me aggressively barking, ran across the street as i was walking on the opposite side, and at first I stumbled backwards a little bit thinking it was really going to attack me, and for some reason my adrenaline reaction is typically to freeze, so I didn’t have the wits to grab my pepper spray out of my bag, I keep walking while facing it because if I turned my back then it would get closer to me (it was about 2 - 3 feet away from me and would lunge closer if I turned away), I yelled at HEY. GET. and swore FUCK, and it started going back to its house- probably only because I left its activation range. There was a girl and guy sitting on the porch just watching me and they didn’t budge or seem to care at all. I walked home with my nerves in that too familiar height feeling, embarrassed, anxious, tense, shut down, not enjoying my surroundings, and in a tunnel vision to get back home.

I feel so embarrassed. And feel like that really has just set me back. I didn’t react the way I wish I would have. I’m small and skinny, so I guess I’m kind of just a scared wimp. (24F 5’2 95lbs). I’m non-confrontational. I hate the way I reacted. I wish I would have sprayed the thing. And it just goes to show again that the people around me are disgusting and low. And I’m not sure if the dog either belonged to them, or their next door neighbor, because by the time I saw it, it was running out from between their 2 houses, and I didn’t see which yard it came out of.

I want to take walks outside everyday and enjoy the nice weather. I tell myself tomorrow, every single day, but when tomorrow comes and can never do it, I take hours to go out the door, and then I either can’t even walk out the door, or I can only walk onto the porch and then immediately have to go back inside. I want to walk on nature trails, but I am too scared to do it for many reasons, but most of them having to do with my being 5’2 104 lbs (24F), and I also get really tense and sometimes I get an adrenaline overdose where I lose my vision and cognitive function from the anxiety if there is any situation that interrupts me. I haven’t ever walked anywhere by myself, I’ve never crossed an intersection by myself, I can’t drive anywhere by myself. And I don’t walk to interact with any people or even walk past them because it makes me start getting really tense and on edge. The last time I had to take a detour because a bunch of roads were shut down from a car accident, and then my vision started blurring from the adrenaline, I turned suddenly to get off the main road, and I almost got into a car accident myself. I have felt so trapped for almost 6 years. I can’t talk to professionals or make appointments, because I shut down. I can’t go anywhere, I can’t drive anywhere except work, home, 1 grocery store, and 1 gas station. How fucking miserable is that to live? It’s killing me, I’m going to have to kill myself eventually because of this. I get the adrenaline rush inside of stores, in lobbies, absolutely everywhere that is not my comfort zone, and it’s horrible and embarrassing and makes me feel stupid and a burden. The only time I can go anywhere is if I am with somebody else, and I hate it.

I’ve wasted another day stuck inside and am just in bed crying.

It seems like all of the palettes I want are all discontinued. I really wanted to get the Too Faced Chocolate Bonbons palette. I really love how there are the neutral tones light and dark, plus purples! I recently bought myself a Stila eyeliner in the color Plumfall, and am now just really interested in everyday simple purple/mauve tones, with a simple neutral toned gradient, dark browns, with light highlight shimmers. But I can’t find any palettes like this that are not $50+. But buying secondhand I am worried about getting eye infections or irritations due to the expired ingredients, as I have sensitive eyes to begin with. I have never worn eyeshadow before, and I am trying to find my first palette, but don’t exactly want to get a drugstore one because they never looked very nice on application.

Really, I am looking for a palette that has a similar spectrum of neutrals as the Too Faced palette, because I can probably find purples easily on their own.

It probably doesn’t exist, but I can’t talk to people or go to appointments because of anxiety. I really can’t physically talk about what is wrong. I know I have a lot of undiagnosed mental health problems. I am interested in Propranolol. Last year I briefly tried using Hims/Hers telehealth, but they are completely predatory ASF and I even had to close my debit card because customer service wouldn’t allow me to cancel, luckily I got it shut down before any of their multiple attempts to charge me for a medication I didn’t even agree to being prescribed went through.

Also any other grains you would recommend? I am going to get Calrose short grain white rice for the base. Also relevant is that I live in the US. I will probably have to purchase from Amazon.

The only grocery store I can go to is a Walmart next to my job, and I only do pickup orders. It’s 30 minutes away from my house and I forgot ginger and hot honey for the recipe I was excited to make today. I was trying to get myself to walk into town to a closer grocery store to get the ginger, I got ready to go, but I couldn’t go out the door because I started having an anxiety attack and have been bawling my pathetic eyes out. I haven’t gone anywhere myself except to and from my car to go to work in 5 years. It’s going to kill me.

Edit: And no I can’t even go to a therapist because I physically cannot talk to them. I believe I had selective mutism since I was a child, and it’s always stayed inside of me.

I have very short sleeved shirts that only have cap sleeves over my shoulders, and I am too self conscious yet to wear my arms bare. My scars are white and the most noticeable on my upper arm bicep areas.