u/Kind-Training-5736

Is it normal to feel really really sad and miss your ex every month exactly 10-11 days before your period? I am 22 years old, and I dated him for 2 years. It has been 6 months since the breakup. I’ll be doing so each month, even happy sometimes, exercising, living etc. But every luteal phase I miss him so much I just miss being comforted, hugged and having someone to co-regulate with. I know my ex wasn’t able to meet my emotional needs or comfort me when I cried towards the end. So why is my body still associating comfort with him? And why am I an absolute wreck each month, I crave warmth, sweets and my ex and can’t stop crying or feeling grief in my throat and chest

Is there any way to retire before 40 ? Also what sort of work from home jobs or remote jobs can allow you to work while travelling around the world ? I’m so tired of the current way of living.

Hi, I’m 22F and asking about my sister 20F on here as a last resort. Basically, she is working herself to death and I don’t think it’s healthy. She works from 12pm to 9pm and then does a night shift until like 6am. This is almost 6 or 7 days a week. Even on her days off she won’t go to sleep she’ll see friends. And she’s also a full time university student on top, so she’ll study when not at work. She works at both Subway and McDonalads. She doesn’t need the money, because my parents don’t make us pay for rent or anything. The only thing we pay for is groceries or our own car stuff etc. My parents, her friends, and I are all concerned ? I see her wear so much concealer under her eyes and she’s always in a bad mood. I tried referring her to the university counsellor services but she ignored their calls. She had had previous suicidal thoughts / attempts and I feel like she’s working to avoid feelings and as a way to self-harm (she told me). We also had a very bad childhood, our father is abusive, and it is possible she’s saving up for her own house or for safety/security. But sleeping 0-3 hours a day can’t be good , this is going on for months ? She won’t listen to my mum or me and quit one job/ Realistically, what can anyone do to help in this case ?

Hii , does anyone know what might cause selective mutism, OCD, social anxiety in young children ? Right now, I am 22 but as a child I had all of these. I’m a researcher now and I’m trying to figure out what caused it, whether it was purely genetic or due to my childhood trauma ? My mom had always been in a dysfunctional, abusive relationship and my dad used to beat me even as a 5 year old. My dad couldn’t show affection and he continually made us move homes or left us to work overseas. We were also quite poor and lived in India at the time but then we moved overseas to Australia when I was 7. After that my anxiety got a bit better and over time I grew out of the selective mutism by highschool age. Just curious, is it more like my genetic / epigenetics programming caused these issues or was it the childhood? My mum said her pregnancy with me was rough and my dad was very abusive and sometimes she didn’t even get to eat enough. I was also born a bit underweight. Also, how come the OCD went away on its own ? Also I really don’t think I’m autistic , so that can’t be the cause.

Hi guys, this might be a bit vulnerable but I’m 22F and my mother is extremely emotionally immature. She will always deflect and not try to understand during any argument. Understandably, this pattern showed up in my last relationship where after 2 years I realized my ex boyfriend (who I dumped now) was extremely immature. He wouldn’t be able to have hard conversations, sit with my emotional pain, or comfort me when I cried. Every issue got turned into “you did it first” or “see how that feels” even when it wasn’t a fair comparison. Somehow I was always the problem. For example, I was distant for a few months while writing my thesis and he used it as an opportunity to get back on me. He became distant due to his career and instead of giving me reassurance he said “you did it first”. I didn’t even mind the distance , I just wanted to be on the same team and fix things. I was only 19 or 20 when I met him so I can’t really blame myself for not knowing what to look for. But now I have to ask, how can I meet people who hold space for my emotions and don’t deflect or ignore me when I’m upset. What are signs that someone has emotional capacity early on ?

How can you filter for emotional maturity in friends and partners ?

I’m 22F and I have extremely specific standards. I want someone who is vegetarian and waiting for marriage (like myself). I want a person who is emotionally mature, has empathy and doesn’t leave when hard conversations come up etc. Just a decent man who is intelligent like myself, very attractive and handsome and treats me well. Also, someone who isn’t intimidated by my success or insecure in himself. Someone who wants the forever lets grow old together type of innocent love. Recently i left my bf of 2 years and i feel like everyone will find a relationship easily and I be the one who doesn’t and is left out. I still miss my ex but i feel like he moved on fast after i dumped him. I feel so scared. I know im intelligent, beautiful and loyal but i feel like I’ll never find the one.

I keep hearing that when you let go of wanting something, you finally get it. I see a lot of people say that and it has also happened to me. The things I end up getting came to me when I had fully given up all hope and decided I didn’t have it. Has this happened to you ?

Hii ! I do a sleep meditation or yoga nidra before bed each night and it’s helping. I’m wondering if there’s any other types of meditation I can try for chronic rumination , anxiety and hyper sensitive nervous system from childhood trauma / CPTSD type life growing up.

Is this true? I can’t find any cute cardigan or dresses or clothes not made of plastic and apparently acrylic and nylon are also plastic… where do I buy non plastic clothing that isn’t $400-700 cashmere/ wool and still looks stylish and warm. Plastic is so bad for the environment, oceans, animals, and microplastics are in our food and apparently wearing plastic will mess your hormones and it’s toxic.

Hiiii guys, I am 22F and after a breakup that in hindsight must be God saving me , I feel like I need to decenter love.
I see on instagram, tiktok etc everyone is so full of romantic/ dating tips, or shallow flirting advice or extreme things like women referred to as gold diggers and all men being awful. Personally, I want that old school, innocent romance and I’m waiting for marriage and it hurts to see people making it so casual. My ex was also awful, didn’t respect some of my boundaries and had some serious insecurities etc.

So now, I’m wondering how did you decenter men , love, and romance ? Most friends I make will also have a boyfriend to go on trips with etc. It gets so lonely and then I’m constantly seeing social media posts about relationships. Should I just delete my social media ? How else can I stop caring about romantic love ?

I can’t help but feel like I have an unfair disadvantage being 5’1 and underweight ? I still try my best but I remember my coach last year told me that I’ll have to kick harder since I’m petite or something ? Is that true ? Why does the ball never go very far when I kick it ? Will going to the gym help, or should I keep practicing my kicks? I’ve played soccer for 3-4 years now but this is the first time I’m playing seriously. The last 2 years I had a bad coach and kept being benched but now I’m having the chance to actually play and learn.

Hi guys, I’m 22 and my ex boyfriend would tell me stuff like “men don’t care about intelligence” and that if I focus on my career and do my PhD then I will be lonely and single forever and also broke. He said that men don’t like intelligent and ambitious women and that women don’t contribute to the workplace and just take coffee breaks. He said that it’s stupid for me to do a PhD and that if I was his daughter he wouldn’t let me but I’m just some girl. But I was confused because he told me he “felt behind” and I will leave him since I’m already doing a PhD (he was still in undergrad and he was a year older). He was joining the airforce and he justified the long distance in that way. He also wanted to “provide” and pay for everything but then would get upset that I wasn’t bringing anything to the table ? He wanted to buy me expensive things (his idea) but would hesitate and not follow through or when he’d buy it and use it as “proof he loves me”. This has messed up my view of love and I’m so confused ? I love being spoiled but I wasn’t asking him to buy expensive stuff. Does it make it hard to find a husband if you are an ambitious / intelligent / self- driven woman ?

I’m 22F and after a breakup 6 months ago, I just don’t think I can love again, I’m giving up. I just started a PhD with a scholarship (my dream), I got better at playing soccer, I’m intellectually inclined and learning all types of things, I started painting, Pilates, running, junk journalling, making new friends… Overall I’m so proud of myself because my ex joined the airforce and deserted me and I made the decision to break it off while I still loved him. I’ve done soo much despite grieving the whole time, I have made new friends, started going to a philosophy club, gone to my first concert and booked many more, written over 13k words for a literature review .. etc. I finally have stopped crying every day because I miss him or wonder how things went wrong. Then why am I still not happy ? When will I feel happy again ?

I also noticed the wrong patterns in the relationship and how incompatible we must be, how emotionally immature he is etc. Also, I didn’t even have sex with him because I want to wait for marriage and so I shouldn’t be this upset right ? We were together for 2 years but I never made him the centre of my life by sacrificing my own interests either. I did everything right. So why can’t I just let it go and feel happy ? I don’t even want love or marriage anymore but I still get triggered when I see my friends having a bf.

Has anyone got advice for writing science papers/ reviews ? My supervisor said it had to be simple/sharp. I have a tendency to dig into every detail and not be very concise…

Guys please don’t mock me okay, I did do my research before starting this PhD, but I want some advice. I’m only 22 and I’m wondering about other people’s life experiences post-PhD. Did you find it hard to get a job after the PhD ? For context I am in Australia and while my field is under agriculture, it will involve neuroscience (which was my undergrad degree). I also have a background in anatomy. I’m not sure what I will do after this degree and how to up-skill to maximize my potential.

I have a narcissistic/ sociopathic father and grew up seeing how my poor mum has always given up everything due to him. My ex boyfriend seemed to be very sweet at the start but now I realised he was controlling, liked to show off with money, didn’t meet my level of emotional intelligence, was immature, and had many such red flags. I was only like 19-20 when I first met him and so I can’t even blame myself. Now I am 22 and in the last 2 years I’ve learned a lot. I think I look and sound very sweet/naive and often date people who only like me if I’m subservient. My ex even said that I was “too good” to leave. When I achieve big goals or do better than them, he got jealous and resented me. How can I prevent such dynamics ? I’m so afraid of men that I’m scared to date now. I don’t know how a healthy relationship looks like. When I talk to guys who are high emotional intelligence, kind, and don’t bring intense highs and lows, I find them boring/ unattractive. I know this happens due to trauma. How do you fix it ?

What is the purpose of all this suffering ? For example, falling in love with a guy just to end with a breakup. Seems like God is toying with a young child, giving you candy just to take it away and watch you cry and cry. Life feels like a cruel experiment, just when you are finally happy something will go horribly wrong. You’ll gain something big that you always dreamed of but you’ll lose something else without even knowing when it happened. For example, i actually got into a PhD at only 22 but at the same time my bf of 2 years joined the airforce, became awful and we broke up. I miss him so much, despite knowing logically it’s not worth it. Seems like life is an awful experiment , why meet and bond with someone just for them to leave your life forever…

I just saw someone say they make 230k a year and have already bought a house at 24 years of age. Now compared that to myself on this PhD journey… I’m kinda concerned ? I also want to buy a house by 24-25 max but I don’t think I’ll earn that much ! Does a PhD even lead to good jobs later ? I keep seeing people struggling to get into entry level positions after a PhD…. Is it normal to worry about this? For context I just started my PhD this year, straight after undergrad, so I’m 22 right now. I really want to buy my own house too, but I choose this path because I like research. Should I work while doing the PhD ?

Okay so for context I’m 22F and my ex boyfriend 23M was saying some pretty awful things ? So for context we dated for 2 years ish and towards the end he was about to join the airforce. During the 2 years I was very focused on my studies, and I’d just gotten a degree, then first class honours, and then accepted into a PhD. He seemed to keep telling me not to do the PhD, it’s over if you do it, you’ll be broke.. He also used to say things like “women don’t belong in the workforce, they just take coffee breaks and don’t contribute to the economy”. And he even said “if you were a princess you wouldn’t have to do a PhD”. All of this left me really confused because I genuinely love learning and I wasn’t feeling forced to study more. In fact I wanted him to celebrate the fact I got a PhD scholarship so early in life and the privilege to learn. What was even more confusing was the fact he said “you know I’m behind” and that I was going to leave him because he was “behind”? That made no sense because I didn’t think he was behind, he didn’t have any degree but he was joining the airforce and I was proud of him. I’m confused why he couldn’t be proud of me ? His family also had way more money than mine, and his parents are very loving. It made no sense he was jealous of me, I don’t have the money, the loving parents, the fancy trips to Europe etc. I’ve never taken jealousy out on him to hurt him. So why was he unable to celebrate me ? After he joined the airforce he also became awful to me and didn’t comfort me when I cried and lied about buying me gifts to make it up to and didn’t get anything. He stopped caring about my feelings after basic training in the airforce. Eventually I felt forced to leave him. When I said goodbye he accepted it but still made promises to send me gifts while he was in military service and kept texting me until I ghosted out of emotional pain (since he would avoid any serious convos) But I’m still feeling confused 5 months later.

Okay so for context I’m 22F and my ex boyfriend 23M was saying some pretty awful things ? So for context we dated for 2 years ish and towards the end he was about to join the airforce. During the 2 years I was very focused on my studies, and I’d just gotten a degree, then first class honours, and then accepted into a PhD. He seemed to keep telling me not to do the PhD, it’s over if you do it, you’ll be broke.. He also used to say things like “women don’t belong in the workforce, they just take coffee breaks and don’t contribute to the economy”. And he even said “if you were a princess you wouldn’t have to do a PhD”. All of this left me really confused because I genuinely love learning and I wasn’t feeling forced to study more. In fact I wanted him to celebrate the fact I got a PhD scholarship so early in life and the privilege to learn. What was even more confusing was the fact he said “you know I’m behind” and that I was going to leave him because he was “behind”? That made no sense because I didn’t think he was behind, he didn’t have any degree but he was joining the airforce and I was proud of him. I’m confused why he couldn’t be proud of me ? His family also had way more money than mine, and his parents are very loving. It made no sense he was jealous of me, I don’t have the money, the loving parents, the fancy trips to Europe etc. I’ve never taken jealousy out on him to hurt him. So why was he unable to celebrate me ? After he joined the airforce he also became awful to me and didn’t comfort me when I cried and lied about buying me gifts to make it up to and didn’t get anything. He stopped caring about my feelings after basic training in the airforce. Eventually I felt forced to leave him. When I said goodbye he accepted it but still made promises to send me gifts while he was in military service and kept texting me until I ghosted out of emotional pain (since he would avoid any serious convos) But I’m still feeling confused 5 months later.