u/Smart_Molasses_2870

So I'm not doing fine, as you can imagine. I'm officially diagnosed with depression and BPD. On Monday I am going to take cognitive tests to see of I have ADHD. On the meantime I feel miserable. ADHD is a condition that impacts the regulation of dopamine. I take medication that blocks dopamine for my other disorders. So I'm lacking dopamine. I dont have motivation, concentration. I'm easily distracted. My parents call me lazy and this hurts. So today I couldn't take it anymore and I hit my head on the wall. I called my psychiatrist who told me to take a cold shower. Useless. I already knew this.

I'm undiagnosed. I'm struggling a lot with ADHD. I need to change my medication. My medication doesn't take into consideration the fact that I have ADHD (for now), on Monday I'll do the tests finally I'll have answers. But I feel like I can't wait till Monday, plus on monday I'm just gonna take the test, it takes time for my therapist to elaborate answers. So this is probably going to last for at least 2 weeks. Until I have access to the right medication. In two weeks I'll also meet my new psychiatrist. Anyways, TWO WEEKS. My mind is going crazy, I feel like I lack motivation and concentration. I feel something is off about my medication (and in fact, something is wrong, because I take entumin, which is a dopamine blocker). It helps me with chronic emotional pain, but it wrecks me. If I have ADHD this means I'm in costant deficit of dopamine, entumin just makes it worse. I feel so bad i can't even begin to explain. The results? It's messy. I'm depressed af, I spend my time:

- eating sugars

- occasionally smoking weed

- smoking cigarettes compulsively

- on my phone

And this is killing me. I'm a lively person. I love yoga, Chinese culture and language, I love horror movies (I can't watch movies), i love going on adventures, I love writing, art, reading, I'm non binary and a tomboy I love expressing my style, I love psychology I'm studying to become one, i love anime and manga, I love witchy stuff (I'm a witch eheh) my world is really chaotic and alive... and rn I feel dead. It's like I'm chemically depressed. But I want to do those things, I'm not really depressed becauss I do see a point in doing those things, its just I lack motivation. And its killing me. Any advice to endure these two weeks?

My therapist is going to give me a test on my cognitive functioning and we'll find out whether I have ADHD or/and autism

So I don't know how to cope with depression while my therapist is away. Tomorrow he's returing to the therapeutic community where I met him, so he'll probably turn on his phone and see my texts asking for a session tomorrow saying its urgent. But I'm struggling now. Basically I spend my days on the phone, chatting with AI, smoking, and eating. That's all I do. I either sleep 12 hours or 4 hours, depending on the day. I have a session with him in 4/5 days and I'm sticking to that. My medication is wrong and I'm also waiting for my new psychiatrist which is also on vacation. She'll come back in 2 weeks. On the meantime what do I do? Do you have some tips for me?

Some things I do:

Take showers everyday

Have meals everyday

Brush my hair everyday

Brush my teeth almost everyday

Move my body for 10 minutes everyday

What I can't do:

Study

Writing (my hobby)

Art (my hobby)

Listening to music (too depressed for that)

So dont advice me these things thank you ☺️

Buongiorno a tutti, ho una diagnosi di sclerosi multipla, borderline e depressione ricorrente. Ho 28 anni. Nelle ultime settimane- ma in realtà non mi ha mai lasciata da mesi- ho avuto una ricaduta depressiva. I miei sintomi sono abulia, apatia, anedonia. Tradotto in parole povere sto in divano/letto tutto il tempo perché non ho voglia di fare niente (mi sembra che tutto sia faticoso), non provo molte emozioni se non tristezza, ansia, dolore e provo piacere ancora ma dura tipo pochissimo e svanisce nel nulla. La situazione mi butta parecchio giù perché sono iscritta a psicologia al secondo anno (università online) e mi sento un fallimento totale. Che consigli mi date?

P.S: tra 5 giorni il mio psicoterapeuta torna dalle ferie e tra 15 giorni ho la psichiatra che mi cambia terapia e le chiedo una rivalutazione diagnostica perché sospetto di avere ADHD e autismo. Ma non è detto, sono solo mie idee. La depressione c'è di sicuro

Basically I've always had this doubt since I was 15 (now I'm 28). My therapist told me I'm not autistic because i dont have cognitive deficit so he's very ignorant on the topic. Plus he says I regularly have sex so I can't be autistic. Like wtf? Now he's on vacation and I've asked him to reevaluate me using tests. Let's see.

I usually think I'm AuDHD but then my therapist says no you're not and then I'm like oh okay. But then something happens that makes me question everything. I have two episodes that describe my life.

1. Today I went to the urologist for incontinence and urinary emergency. She asked me questions and has said "When you run" she meant to the toilet. I meant the sport. And I've said "Oh I don't run" they laughed at me because they thought I was stupid for going to a visiting for urinary emergency and then saying the opposite. Yeah. Thats my life.

2. I take entumin wich is a dopamine blocker. They increased the dosage. If my brain naturally produces less dopamine and i take a medication that blocks dopamine is it normal I'm so depressed? I dont feel like getting out of bed.

Those things and many more (I have written down the most typical examples) make me question being neurotypial. In two weeks I see my new psychiatrist and in one week I'm gonna see my therapist and I'm gonna ask both of them for AuDHD evaluation. Do you think I'm right suspecting them?

I'm wondering. It all started 12 years ago. But it was mild. The heavy stuff came after. 4 years ago. Psychosis, self harm, suicide attempts, depression, social isolation, promiscuous sex and much more. Now my pain level is 8/10 but constant. I wonder if I'm chronic my daily symptoms are:

- Fatigue

- Lack of energy

-Emptiness

- Boredom

- Impulsivity

-Anxiety (without Ativan)

- Insomnia (without Entumin)

- Dissociation (in the sense of feeling detached from reality or not fully present)

-Racing and intrusive thoughts

-Dissociative amnesia

-Occasional thoughts of self-harm (reactive)

-Passive and reactive suicidal ideation

-Low mood

-Chronic emotional pain

-Smartphone addiction

-Nicotine addiction

-Apathy

-Abulia

-Anhedonia

Like he's really famous but some things make me off about him and I'm not sure if its just me or maybe someone else thinks there are red flags. I go to him because my parents control my life and they want me to go to him, but if it were for me I wouldn't go anymore. In my opinion, there are many red flags.

- after only 5 years of MS, he told me my ms is benign.

- he wrote just nystagmus among all of my symptoms (depression, fatigue, mental fatigue, cognitive impairment, hyperactive bladder, heat sensitivity)

- I have a psychiatric record and every time I present him with issues he blames it on psych situation (even incontinence._.)

- last time he didn't even visit me he just asked me how I'm doing psychologically

- My EDSS should be 2 because of my issues but he wrote 1 because he just considers nystagmus

- He wrote down that I have mild lesions load when I have 20 lesions.

- Every time I send an email to my MS center, they reply to me after a week. Like my questions are not urgent

- I used to have my neurologist's private number (I deleted it because it's useless) he got mad at me twice for annoying him. Once because I have asked him to contact my psychiatrist and he tried once but the secretary was rude to him and he got mad at me. Another time I contacted him for crippling fatigue (I couldn't keep my eyes open) and he said that it doesn't have to do with ms and to stop bothering him.

- he suggested me that I should just get rid of depression and stopped taking psych medication.

- I had to go to my GP to ask for a urologist evaluation and neuropsychologist evaluation

- because of his diligence, I developed 10 lesions on the wrong medication he gave me

- he keeps saying my mri looks amazing and that makes me uncomfortable

- I haven't had a spine mri in 6 years

Are those red flags? Please help me out. If you say those are red flags I'll definitely change neurologist.

Does anyone else have chronic emotional pain? Just curious. I think it can be debilitating just like chronic pain, what do you think?

I have BPD, depression and multiple sclerosis. What causes me to sh is bpd. I went to the er because my psychiatrist didn't answer the whole day. If my pain was 8/10 now its 10/10 and I think I'm going to self harm tonight. Basically the psychiatrist visited me for 5 minutes and said I didn't need to go to the er. My psychiatrist wasn't available where I was supposed to go? I feel totally abandoned and alone now I want to sh so bad I think I'm doing it tonight

So today the emotional pain is 8,5/10. My medication is wrong and it makes me depressed and gives me tons of side effects. I have passive thoughts of harming myself. Not to kill myself yet. My therapist is on vacation, my new psychiatrist is also on vacation. My therapist will come back next week, my psychiatrist in 2 weeks. I'm relying on them heavily. If I go to the ER now they'll probably hospitalize me and refuse to change my medication because they say its working (yeah nevermind). I really want to get hospitalized to be in a protected environment but like its extremely uncomfortable (dirty showers, nasty food, medical neglect...) to be hospitalized and I want to go only when the pain is 20/10. Like I can't survive with it.. now I can survive but its like the emotional pain is really strong it might be because I skipped a dose of the medication yesterday. But I hate my medication I swear to god. Now I stopped skipping doses so hopefully the pain will slow down. I called the mental hospital 16 times but they dont reply to me. What should I do?

Ho la sclerosi multipla recidivante-remittente, depressione ricorrente e disturbo borderline di personalità. Giusto per dare un po' di contesto. Prendo una terapia farmacologica estremamente carica perché per anni il mio unico pensiero era quello di farla finita e quindi ero sempre in acuto. Ho accumulato 22 ricoveri in 4 anni. Praticamente il mio neurologo pensa che la terapia farmacologica lo stenderebbe per una settimana e mi chiede come faccio a stare in piedi. Io non ci faccio caso, ma sono davvero molto stanca. Sempre. Non importa se ho 3 ore di sonno o ne ho 12. Mi sento sempre stanca. In più prendo farmaci che bloccano il rilascio di dopamina il che mi rende 1. Depressa 2. Estremamente dipendente ad attività che prevedono un rilascio di dopamina come zuccheri, cellulare e social e nicotina. Il problema è che con la stanchezza che mi ritrovo (causata in parte da sm, in parte da farmaci) sono iper dipendente da telefono e non faccio nulla tutto il giorno. Siccome come potete intuire non ho avuto una vita facile, ho deciso di riscattarmi e studiare psicologia all'università per diventare neuropsicologa (ho dei deficit cognitivi per la sm e vorrei aiutare persone con deficit). Ma riesco a studiare circa 2 ore al giorno, mi sento un fallimento per questo

So I have benign MS, my EDSS is 1 because of visual symptoms (nystagmus). My onset was optic neuritis so my right eye is lazy. My neurologist told me its benign. My walking is not affrcted. Yet I have heavy medication like ocrevus. Yet I have fatigue. Yet I have mental fatigue. Yet I have cognitive impairment. Yet I have hyperactive bladder. Yet I have depression. Just because it's invisible doesn't mean its not there.

I want to become a neuropsychologist to help those with ms or ictus or dementia, Alzheimer, ecc... But I have cognitive impairment myself 😅 its my dream. Does this make any sense to you?

So because of BPD I started an online university just now. I still live with my parents and I receive from the government a minimum disability paycheck. I'm happy to fulfill my dream but I can't help to feel left behind. Basically I want to become a neuropsychologist and in my country it takes 9 years to become that. So this means I'll be living with my parents for at least other 10 years. No I dont want to change career because that is meaningful to me I have multiple sclerosis and have cognitive issues so I want to help those who struggle like me. And on the meantime I want to be able to help myself. I feel so down for this. I know im supposed to be happy but like I dunno

My therapist is on vacation, other 9 days before he comes back. My private psychiatrist (my medication is terrible for now) is on vacation till the end of July. My public psychiatrist I dont trust him he doesn't update my new diagnosis and he hasn't been changing my medication for onw year and a half, despite me telling him of the heavy side effects it causes. He just doesn't care. But I have an idea I could go to a visit with him and telling him I have suicidal thoughts (I don't most of the time) so he hospitalizes me in the psych ward. But like the psych ward, its so uncomfortable, everything is taken away from you. The showers are dirty. The food is terrible. I can't use my phone most of the time so I end up speaking alone. I'm not sure thats where I wanna go. But I feel the need for an hospitalization, where I get taken care of. I need someone that takes care of me. My situation at home is not discussable, this makes you understand how dark things are. What do I do? I FEEL SO LOST

Like I'm 28 and I have RR MS since 2020. My symptoms are invisible: heat sensitivity, fatigue, depression, hyperactive bladder, nystagmus, cognitive issues. I consider myself lucky. But I have always heard that the more time it passes, the worse ms it gets. Is it true? What should I expect? I am on treatment with ocrevus zunovo

The identified patient is the one who manifests symptoms and that covers with their symptoms the unease that's in the family. I'm the identified patient. My mum is an elicpter mum, she treats me like im ill and is very controlling and anxious. My father vents his frustration by verbally abuse me. My brother never speaks to me except when he has to judge something I did. I have suicidal thoughts. I feel uncomfortable in my house. I want to be alone all the time but I'm never alone in this freaking house. I was thinking of going to the er but I'm not sure how it can help me. My therapist is on vacation so I can't ask him for help. My boyfriend would say I'm exaggerating. My best friends would tell me to move out but they dont understand I dont have the possibility I just wanna kill myself everything is a disaster. Any tips?

So basically it's 1:31 am here. I drank two cups of coffee at 22:30 pm because I wanted to stay awake all night. I am a night owl but also an early bird so I want to combine those two things by not sleeping at all. I'm a student and my university is online so I can do this. I plan to stay awake till 4 am, then I'm gonna have breakfast and drink another coffee