this video here is what I'm talking about

When I was a kid like 5-10 I was going out door to door and now that I'm 31 and out I'm just thinking about this stuff. I don't know if anyone saw the recent video I'm referencing but it was on Reddit. The woman was trying to warn the two mormons that her dead dog was asleep and they needed to get out before she attacked but they just asked "can we pray before we go"? " and then what happens is the dog notices them and the one that asks gets maul*d.

It kind of frustrated me because they probably ignored the sign if there was any to not go on the property and there IS A DOG. It makes me feel like cults have a way of crossing boundaries. Shocker right except you don't see it that way when you're in one. I feel bad for knocking on peoples doors back then now that I currently really understand the lack of desire or appreciation for an unannounced, uninvited person to knock on my door in real life. Just made me feel like my privacy and respect was being boundary tested as if it's some type of anti social alien thing. Really really crossing social lines. It's taught to you at a young age when you're a child and you don't end up learning how to stay away from disrespecting and violating another person's lines

You can end up being mauled by a person's pet. In real time.

I'm glad I could vent this.

Transference therapy

... But with the object that did not sympathize with you? There's a part in my that basically feels like hitting a brick wall or a nihilistic void/ depth. What is this referred to in transference therapy

******* When an attachment figure "is not empathic or loving, rather neglectful. On the childhood who was brought up being neglected*******

I have heard that therapists have a hard time treating cluster b's for the reason that "there is no their there" but how do you work with yourself when one of your internal selves is "not there"?

... But with the object that did not sympathize with you? There's a part in my that basically feels like hitting a brick wall or a nihilistic void/ depth. What is this referred to in transference therapy

******* When an attachment figure "is not empathic or loving, rather neglectful. On the childhood who was brought up being neglected*******

I have heard that therapists have a hard time treating cluster b's for the reason that "there is no their there" but how do you work with yourself when one of your internal selves is "not there"?

Is there any type of premonition development or way to know that your premonition will come true? What if it's destiny? What if it's destiny for some people to just go to the other life

Think of all the type of people who slip through the cracks in reality or society every single moment. Think of a time you experienced some traumatic event where it continued to Riddle you to this very moment

I've had some of those times,like a bad mushroom trip or a psychotic episode and I haven't made my way to the other side of them yet even though they've happened months and years ago.

And are unemployed/ in their later adult life but still somewhat young(like 31 years old)?

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I just don't really want to be unemployed but I also don't want to collect ssi. I just live with my dad right now.

From other people? Bad vibes

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Or maybe they are saying something to you that's essentially rejecting? It's like OCD mental contamination. Except it's npd coded.

ETA: I'm not actually these religions I was indoctrinated as a kid basically. I'm in this group to move on if possible because I never really tried to talk to similar people about it before very recently.

I'm 31

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When I was 5 -11 Jehovah's witness but when I was younger my dad basically was the scientologist. Both my parents were scientologists at some point. But then my mom became a Jehovah's witness when I was 5. My dad has wanted me to be a scientologist but I was skeptic. So when I was 11 he told me I am essentially a sociopathic suppressive person.

What would you prefer to eat and engage in? I had some almonds earlier for a snack. Last month I tracked my cycle and I successfully managed my rage

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I'm hoping to have a successful luteal phase this upcoming month. The things I ate while tracking helped me get my period in a 28 day cycle I believe. I may or may not have some kind of ED, which maybe interferes. I'm really trying to eat more. But only safe foods for each cycle.

I'm 31. I don't know if I have genetic autism or it was just my upbringing. What is your take? What would reddit expertise say

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Sometimes I am forgetful and get lost in my thoughts, like a neurodivergent thing. I do have some social difficulties/ complexities. But it could also just be trauma. I'm looking for advice because so far Google and the rest of reddit searches haven't been satisfying to my uncertainty

Homeless situationship refuses to give me back my id and left ear pod. Haven't gotten it back in about a year

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I've still allowed him to stay over. We met at a food bank I have been going to for several years. I wanted him to help me. Because we had sex though it immediately turned into a situationship. I don't know if I like this person. At all. I tend to idealize or obsess over lovers

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So far he's kind of been my favorite one. We're both 31 now and he lives in his car just down the street which I never knew until our first hangout. Before that point I just assumed he stayed at motels because I'd see him at town when walking to the grocery store. Knowing he's so in range freaks me out and also makes me feel tempted to crash out and demand to know where my id is. I've replaced it since a month ago. But it was horrible to be face to face with him as if we were "actually friends who had respect for each other" while he never disclosed whatever he did with my id.

He's told me he's been in a psyche ward, where he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and jail for assaulting a cop and he's been out for a few years. He was there for a couple years. He's also told me he's never had relationships before but he's also had 5 sexual partners. His mom is also homeless living in her car so I've tried to help by offering her to live with me and my Dad. I've offered my situationship to stay too as long as he cleans up after himself and contributes groceries as well as helping me get a job or getting my life together. That's literally all I wanted from this guy, to help me. I wanted to literally help him but I ruined everything. It's been more than a year so far that we have first hung out. But I just want help and want to get my life together. If he got his life together I would be so proud.

This all seems like a toxic situationship and I've been waking up dreading the rest of my day trying not to beg him for the truth or even beg his mom for the truth. His family goes to the local food bank too. It feels like a big dog eat dog world and I'm having random panic attacks and considering going to a therapist.

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TL;DR: I got into a situationship with a homeless man I met at a food bank. During an argument a year ago, I grabbed his backpack to get him out of my room, and he later kept my ID and an AirPod that were inside. He never returned them. He has a history of psychiatric hospitalization and violence, lives in his car near me, and I’ve still let him stay over because I wanted support. Now I feel unsafe, confused, and panicked, especially since we see each other at the food bank. I need advice on how to distance myself safely.

Homeless situationship refuses to give me back my id and left ear pod. Haven't gotten it back in about a year

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I've still allowed him to stay over. We met at a food bank I have been going to for several years. I wanted him to help me. Because we had sex though it immediately turned into a situationship. I don't know if I like this person. At all. I tend to idealize or obsess over lovers

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So far he's kind of been my favorite one. We're both 31 now and he lives in his car just down the street which I never knew until our first hangout. Before that point I just assumed he stayed at motels because I'd see him at town when walking to the grocery store. Knowing he's so in range freaks me out and also makes me feel tempted to crash out and demand to know where my id is. I've replaced it since a month ago

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But it was horrible to be face to face with him as if we were "actually friends who had respect for each other" while he never disclosed whatever he did with my id

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He's told me he's been in a psyche ward, where he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and jail for assaulting a cop and he's been out for a few years. He was there for a couple years. He's also told me he's never had relationships before but he's also had 5 sexual partners. His mom is also homeless living in her car so I've tried to help by offering her to live with me and my Dad. I've offered my situationship to stay too as long as he cleans up after himself and contributes groceries as well as helping me get a job or getting my life together. That's literally all I wanted from this guy, to help me. I wanted to literally help him but I ruined everything. It's been more than a year so far that we have first hung out. But I just want help and want to get my life together. If he got his life together I would be so proud

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This all seems like a toxic situationship and I've been waking up dreading the rest of my day trying not to beg him for the truth or even beg his mom for the truth. His family goes to the local food bank too. It feels like a big dog eat dog world and I'm having random panic attacks and considering going to a therapist.

I've still allowed him to stay over. We met at a food bank I have been going to for several years. I wanted him to help me. Because we had sex though it immediately turned into a situationship. I don't know if I like this person. At all. I tend to idealize or obsess over lovers

​

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So far he's kind of been my favorite one. We're both 31 now and he lives in his car just down the street which I never knew until our first hangout. Before that point I just assumed he stayed at motels because I'd see him at town when walking to the grocery store. Knowing he's so in range freaks me out and also makes me feel tempted to crash out and demand to know where my id is. I've replaced it since a month ago

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But it was horrible to be face to face with him as if we were "actually friends who had respect for each other" while he never disclosed whatever he did with my id

​

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He's told me he's been in a psyche ward and jail for assaulting a cop and he's been out for a few years. He was there for a couple years. He's also told me he's never had relationships before but he's also had 5 sexual partners. His mom is also homeless living in her car so I've tried to help by offering her to live with me and my Dad. I've offered my situationship to stay too as long as he cleans up after himself and contributes groceries as well as helping me get a job or getting my life together. That's literally all I wanted from this guy, to help me. I wanted to literally help him but I ruined everything. It's been more than a year so far that we have first hung out. But I just want help and want to get my life together. If he got his life together I would be so proud

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This all seems like a toxic situationship and I've been waking up dreading the rest of my day trying not to beg him for the truth or even beg his mom for the truth. His family goes to the local food bank too. It feels like a big dog eat dog world and I'm having random panic attacks and considering going to a therapist.

At this point I'm feeling like multiple victims trapped

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I feel like multiple people. I feel like I'm my own child like self, being held hostage by my now adult self during extreme intense stress. I feel terrified for my inner self but also I feel intense feelings that cause some kind of self hatred

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I was diagnosed with BPD in a psyche ward when I was 28, but sometimes I feel like it could be something else

At this point I'm feeling like multiple victims trapped

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I feel like multiple people. I feel like I'm my own child like self, being held hostage by my now adult self during extreme intense stress. I feel terrified for my inner self but also I feel intense feelings that cause some kind of self hatred

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I was diagnosed with BPD in a psyche ward when I was 28, but sometimes I feel like it could be something else

Do hormones truly cause me to break out, bloat, have different insulin tolerance, change my saliva pH, change my motivation levels/ social levels? Do hormones TRULY cause the feeling like you aren't interested in small talk or being spontaneous at all...? Really? I'm gobsmacked

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I'm not on any medication. Day three off of period, things that I would tend to start bug out about are completely not a mile close to my radar for stress. Sure some thoughts pop up in my head but they seriously fade as soon as they come by unlike when in my luteal phase I just ruminate and ruminate and ruminate and ruminate and pause and reflect and it doesn't go away until I start feeling a panic attack.

So basically I did bad in school on purpose

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I wasn't allowed to go to birthday parties as a kid. I wasn't allowed to sleep over any ones honestly because they were quite unquote wordly people

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I wasn't allowed to focus in things that brought me happiness since I was always being shoved into the Bible study groups, meetings and door to door. I was interested in kittens and typical 5 year old things instead!

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I wasn't allowed to really celebrate holidays with extended family- I wasn't allowed to wish them a happy birthday. I actually forgot my on fathers birthday. To this day- I am an adult I still forget his birth date. I know it's some time in April, I know his age I just forgot the "date". I couldn't have crushes on guys. Forget even having some kind of relationship since being in one already requires so many rules.

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I didn't get to graduate high school. I didn't get a job and save money. I don't even have a driver's license to this day. There's more but that's just the side from my Mom since my dad was another high control group. I watched my sister have a panic attack one time at an assembly in another State and I'm partly glad she freaked out because I didn't want to be there. We stopped going at that time, when I was 11. But going for 5 years made me into an awkward unemployable people pleaser.

someone i met in my town

they basically tell me im the toxic one. i don't know how to really walk away. we're both 31 but this feels a lot like teenager /childhood drama/ trauma. he calls me around 1 45 at night on my house phone and facebook. but i try to ignore

i'm really torn up to pieces since i knew him for about a year now but i've seen him around for a longer time. i don't even think that i like him i just wanted him to be able to give me some type of resources. this could belong in aspd instead? or bpd? i don't even think getting a restraining order would work. there's been violence, and alcohol use plus weed. (weed is illegal in my state in america still)

paranoid delusions about his drug use. magical thinking about "destiny". i've been diagnosed with schizoaffective twice before but how can you tell if it's also just ptsd? i know personality disorders are from relational trauma... i'm so obsessed wanting this guys feelings and reactions to me to be "helpful"

example: i've wanted him to take me in when he gets a motel or to teach me how to be homeless since i don't have stability house wise. this all sounds like word salad. i just feel too anxious to go outside knowing he's somewhere out there now maybe and i have way too much pride(?) to call him and try to see where he is in town because i feel "what if he doesn't answer?" or "what if he only answers and asks for money or for sex and if i say no to either he'll tell me to leave him alone?". he's called me before late and asked me for sex. he's been calling drunk and my own dad already triggers me by drinking. one person i used to talk to would call me very selfish. they were someone i wanted resources from also.

i'm not sure if im tryng to pick people who will treat me like a kid, and let me do things with other people that i'd want to. i can't tell if i'm having horrible panic attacks or straight up thoughts of SI

i don't know if i idealize this person and suck at grounding myself in reality at this point.

i watch so many videos from sam vaknin but people tell me to stay away from him. what if im an actual sociopath though? what if my brain just works this way where i'm unemployed and blaming everyone around me/ hating on them and just having a learned helplessness/ victim mindset? i wish i had a job and a group of nice normal people i knew. i wish i had a family again to talk to i guess.

i feel like i'm dying mentally and i'm watching my life fly across my eyes every moment it goes by faster and faster until i just come back down to earth...

they basically tell me im the toxic one. i don't know how to really walk away. we're both 31 but this feels a lot like teenager /childhood drama/ trauma. he calls me around 1 45 at night on my house phone and facebook. but i try to ignore

i'm really torn up to pieces since i knew him for about a year now but i've seen him around for a longer time. i don't even think that i like him i just wanted him to be able to give me some type of resources. this could belong in aspd instead? or bpd? i don't even think getting a restraining order would work. there's been violence, and alcohol use plus weed. (weed is illegal in my state in america still)

paranoid delusions about his drug use. magical thinking about "destiny". i've been diagnosed with schizoaffective twice before but how can you tell if it's also just ptsd? i know personality disorders are from relational trauma... i'm so obsessed wanting this guys feelings and reactions to me to be "helpful"

example: i've wanted him to take me in when he gets a motel or to teach me how to be homeless since i don't have stability house wise. this all sounds like word salad. i just feel too anxious to go outside knowing he's somewhere out there now maybe and i have way too much pride(?) to call him and try to see where he is in town because i feel "what if he doesn't answer?" or "what if he only answers and asks for money or for sex and if i say no to either he'll tell me to leave him alone?". he's called me before late and asked me for sex. he's been calling drunk and my own dad already triggers me by drinking. one person i used to talk to would call me very selfish. they were someone i wanted resources from also.

i'm not sure if im tryng to pick people who will treat me like a kid, and let me do things with other people that i'd want to. i can't tell if i'm having horrible panic attacks or straight up thoughts of SI

i don't know if i idealize this person and suck at grounding myself in reality at this point.

i watch so many videos from sam vaknin but people tell me to stay away from him. what if im an actual sociopath though? what if my brain just works this way where i'm unemployed and blaming everyone around me/ hating on them and just having a learned helplessness/ victim mindset? i wish i had a job and a group of nice normal people i knew. i wish i had a family again to talk to i guess.

i feel like i'm dying mentally and i'm watching my life fly across my eyes every moment it goes by faster and faster until i just come back down to earth...

im not on medication but i noticed when im in luteal phase of my cycle my ocd gets so bad that i end up having bad panic attacks. i think the panic attacks are ocd related.