u/Mandarin_Lumpy_Nutz

The title essentially. I have at least one little that cares about our birth mother. However, I have no plans of breaking the no contract and I have no interest in changing my feelings about her. How do I help this little who desperately wants mom but can’t have her?

The title. I figured out my Littles are the ones that get high, self harm, binge or restrict food, spend money, etc. They really did a number on us yesterday. We almost had to get stitches and our leg hurts real bad. I need to figure out how to help them.

The DSM5 says that people with DID can experience transient psychosis. And may report hallucinations of all kinds: auditory, gustatory, olfactory, visual, tactile.

I experience all types of hallucinations.

F(27) Weight: 311lbs Height: 5’2 Diagnosis’s: Schizoaffective, BPD, ADHD,OCD, BED, sleep apnea. Meds: Cymbalta, Naltrexone, LaMICtal, Propranolol, Abilify.

I’m asking seriously as I’m being driven mad it feels like. I’ve been given a plethora of diagnosis’s by psychiatrists and psych nurse practitioners who have, within my 10 years of treatment, diagnosed me with in order:

Depression
Anxiety
Depression with psychotic features
Bipolar 2
OCD
OCPD
BPD
Schizoaffective Bipolar type
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Somatization disorder
ADHD
BED
EDNOS
PTSD
Dissociative disorder

Many disorders listed here I was diagnosed with by multiple professionals, and many were diagnosed together. Almost every time I saw a new psych, they’d diagnose me with 3-4 things almost right off the bat (is that standard?).

(I’ve stopped looking for second opinions because it’s doing me no good. But I’m still so stuck on what the correct diagnosis/s is. I feel like I need to know in order to receive the most effective treatment.)

Only one psych I’ve seen thinks I have PTSD. And every therapist I’ve had thinks it’s PTSD as well. Why the difference in how the psychs see me and how the therapists see me to where psychs give me a plethora of complex disorders and therapists think it’s just one distinct disorder to explain it all?

Therapists have also said I may have DID. This genuinely scares me. Plus I just don’t see it in myself. However, I’ve been able to see myself in every other disorder listed above at some points in my life. Sometimes I see myself displaying symptoms and behaviors of of the disorders I’ve been given. It’s like a never ending cycle of symptoms. But other times I don’t see myself in those disorders and question why psychs ever diagnosed me with them in the first place.

I’m starting to consider what the therapists have suggested. Maybe DID helps explain the majority of my symptoms. And maybe, when I “switch” into a different parts (I call it a “part” because I feel uncomfortable saying alter) of myself, I present as having different disorders? Does that make sense?

I’m not asking for a diagnosis but I’m just curious if this is a common phenomenon to have so many diagnosis’s turn out to be DID in the end?

I’ve been diagnosed with schizoaffective a few times by psychiatrists. I haven’t been diagnosed with DID but I’ve been told I likely have it by therapists and psych nurse practitioner. My husband (who has an education in psychology) thinks I lean more towards DID and he thinks my presentation just looks like schizophrenia. I’ve seen a lot of people on the schizo subs say their schizo looked like DID. So I’m wondering if it’s often that DID can look like schizophrenia?

But I’m afraid to tell my psychiatrist this. I’ve also started self harming again. I’m worried he will will label me further. He already has me diagnosed with Schizoaffective, ADHD, OCD, BED, sleep apnea. He constantly writes in the session notes in the patient portal that he thinks I have BPD as well. I’m worried he will label me with two more things if I’m completely honest with him about my cannabis use. And about my sexual behaviors. I won’t get into specifics though.

Should I be honest with him? Would he report me? What is standard treatment for such disorders?

And autism after a psychological evaluation. I,myself, have BPD.

Is it common for somebody with NPD to constantly shut down your interests, likes, hobbies? Minimize them. And make their own interests seem superior to yours? He will insist I engage with his interests but he refuses to do the same for me.

Also, my husband is extremely charismatic in public. Typically he is a cynical recluse that stays inside and plays games all day or goes to work. But when he has to be around people, he either A.) Basically changes personas and is extremely outgoing and talkative, or B.) If he becomes overstimulated due to his ASD, he will shut down or talk negatively the entire time.

He also demands my attention when he wants it but if I demand attention, he ignores me.

He is often angry and negative, constantly whining about how bad his life is.

He doesn’t seem to feel regret or guilt. For example, if he accidentally hurts me by like stepping in my foot or something, he refuses to apologize and even gets angry if I ask him to apologize. If I try to explain to him during a discussion about how his behaviors are making me feel, he turns it around on me and says he is only acting the way he is because I’m acting the way I am.

He is extremely intelligent. 136 IQ gifted range. I’ve heard people with NPD are generally rather intelligent. Is that true?

Does all this sound like NPD?

Couldn’t figure out what tag to use.

Essentially, the title. And if it is common, why?

F(27) Weight:306lbs Height: 5’2. Diagnosis’s: Schizoaffective Bipolar type, BPD, OCD, ADHD, BED. Meds: Abilify, Cymbalta, Propranolol, LaMICtal, Naltrexone.

I don’t have much of a question but I’m curious about why I might not be goal oriented.

I never have been. Even as a child. I could never really answer the question “what are your goals” and “where do you see yourself in 1,5,10 years”. I can’t see the future. I’m stuck purely in the past and the here and now. It’s like I can’t even conjure up the concept of a future. And goals. I’ve just never had them. I don’t know what I want. Any accomplishments and awards and scholarships I received were not a result of me having goals. They were always my parent’s goals for me. Maybe that’s the answer to my question. But I genuinely feel I was born this way. Could one or multiple of my disorders be the cause of this? From what I can recall, I’ve had symptoms of OCD, ADHD, and possibly premorbid StPD since I was a child (as I’ve always have peripheral hallucinations, odd beliefs, magical thinking, social anxiety that didn’t get better with familiarity, ideas of reference. I’m not guessing I had StPD because I was diagnosed with it; I just struggle sometimes to believe I had it).

Now I just lay in bed and doomscroll. Without my parents looming over me and berating me, I have no drive. The threat is gone and without that threat, I’m a lump.

I have been diagnosed with BPD, Schizoaffective, OCD,ADHD,BED. And I will likely be diagnosed with cannabis use disorder here soon. It’s hard to tell where one disorder ends and another begins. Not only that, but I basically have no identity. I’ve been surviving so long that I never formed one it seems. I’m always told, “the labels don’t matter” but they kinda do, in my opinion. I honestly feel like nothing without these disorders. I know it isn’t healthy to let them define me but I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been to treatment (inpatient, residential, PHP, IOP) multiple times and can’t seem to get my shit together. I feel like I’m gonna be stuck being this way forever.

My guess is, not very likely. I’m struggling with believing this diagnosis again. I’m trying to listen to the facts, so that I stay on my meds.

My first time being diagnosed was after a 5 hour long court ordered psych eval. Then again at the hospital. Then by 2 outpatient psychs. But every therapist I see says it’s PTSD. Which I guess is why I’m so confused.

F(27); Weight (306); Height (5’2); Diagnosis’s: Schizoaffective Bipolar type, BPD, ADHD,BED, OCD,sleep apnea; Meds: Abilify, Cymbalta, Propranolol, LaMICtal, Naltrexone

Based off these 5 points, would it be safe to say that my psych would diagnose me with Cannabis Use Disorder?

1.) I spend at least $200 on weed in a month or more. I will use my last dollar on it.

2.) I’ve been increasing my usage over time (the last three years) and now I’m taking like 1000mg edibles. I have even considered taking more than that

3.) I have secretly bought and hidden and used weed. My husband only wants me to use 20mg a day. I don’t like that. So I’ve bought and hidden it from my husband.

4.) I’ve started driving and even going to work at the tail end of a high

5.) I get high everyday if I can help it

I heard bags and things being messed with outside my room, I asked my husband if he had been moving around the house, but he hadn’t been. I was too scared to see if it’s a person but I’m pretty sure it’s just me hallucinating. I don’t have cats or dogs that could have made the noise.