u/_triangle_of_bermuda

WICOMICO COUNTY, MD—In a candlelit ceremony County Attorneys Paul Wilber and Andrew Illuminati were promoted to the rank of Full Toady by County Executive Julie Giordano.

The promotion, which grants both lawyers the right to nod aggressively in agreement whenever Giordano speaks, comes after their legal defense of the executive’s management of the Wicomico Nursing Home.

Observers noted that the transition from standard brown-nosers to full-fledged sycophants was completed after the duo argued that an emergency oversight bill passed by the County Council was not, in fact, an emergency, but rather a misunderstanding of the word "accountability".

"Paul and Andrew have shown the kind of spine-free dedication that this administration values most," said Giordano.

As part of their new full toady status, Wilber and Illuminati will receive exclusive permission to draft 80-page legal opinions that boil down to "Whatever Julie Wants".

"We are humbled by this elevation," Illuminati said, while nervously looking back to ensure Giordano was smiling.

"At the end of the day, my role as County Attorney isn't to represent both branches of government objectively," Wilber explained while fetching Giordano a Diet Coke. "It’s to ensure that the executive branch has the legal armor necessary to fight off pesky things like care of the local vulnerable population”.

Several SWAT officers and U.S. Marshals suffered injuries after a porch collapsed beneath them while they were attempting to serve an arrest warrant in Missouri.

Authorities were looking for 26-year-old Jacob Muñoz, who was convicted of possessing child pornography.
Muñoz was not at the property when officers arrived, but officials say he later turned himself in.

Paywalled ( NOT SATIRE ! ) briefly:

Today after the Wicomico County Council unanimously advanced emergency legislation to impose much needed oversight of the Wicomico Nursing Home, County Executive Julie Giordano urged lawmakers to table the measure.

Giordano said that the families concerned about the substandard care are driven by “hearsay, complaints from disgruntled employees, and members of the public who simply don’t have all the facts.”

“That happened in history. It’s called the Salem witch trials, and we see how that turned out,” Giordano said.

The confrontation came two weeks after workers, residents’ relatives and civil rights leaders stormed a County Council meeting to describe how qualified employees had been abruptly forced out, often over the phone, resulting in deterioration of care.

Experienced staff were replaced by part time inexperienced help in an effort to cut costs by administrator Tina Foskey who arrived April 9.

Foskey, who was hired by Executive Giordano, has held 10 different positions in eight years reflecting a résumé that doesn’t demonstrate stability or adequate qualifications.

Speculation remains that this is an effort to cut costs for the purpose of selling off the facility.

Del. Sheree Sample-Hughes called the changes “a systematic dismantling approach” and said residents are waiting for meals, help using the bathroom and bedtime care.
“It’s an emergency,” she said.

Councilwoman Shanie Shields was blunter: “It’s like a cancer that’s going through that nursing home and tearing it up, and the emergency legislation is the cure.”

The Council’s separately retained attorney, Robert Benson, clashed with Executive Administration attorneys Paul Wilber and Andrew Illuminati who were clearly carrying forth the Executive’s orders without concern for the vulnerable individuals needing care.

The bill will next face a public hearing at 10 a.m. Sept. 15 before a final vote. A community town hall is scheduled for 6 p.m. Aug. 31 at First Baptist Church in Salisbury.

https://www.baltimoresun.com/2026/08/18/wicomico-nursing-home-oversight-bill-salem-witch-trials/

The whole downtown stinks, how does Brew River stay on business? Someone tell Jim to fix that shit, their wastewater is out of control.

Some shots from my visit to Howard county conservancy this weekend. I love seeing large fields of black eyes susans