u/mariposa933

i started meditating again these days and i had a thought that started popping out randomly in my mind that a few years ago, whenever i would go outside i would witness agressive people or arguments or fights. I didn't have to be in them to be affected.
That time also coincided with a period of my life where i was angry and vengeful because i suffered trauma.

I noticed that these days it doesn't happen, or very rarely that i encounter people that are agressive or angry for no reason. I don't think it's because people have become nicer with time (?). I think it's a spiritual law that we attract what we are.

Well, i went on a walk yesterday, and in the morning i witnessed another argument in public (the 1st in years). An old lady was screaming at a young lady on a scooter and kept saying a loud "b*tch!".

I thought she looked hysterical screaming in the streets.

Then later that day, after i came back from my walk. I had just decided to eat since i was hungry (hangry). And decided to chill in the living room enjoying some quiet time.
My dad appeared, and i was so pissed, since i thought i could relax.

I went in my room, started puffind and cussing (low enough so nobody could hear me).
And then had an epiphany that i sounded just like that hysterical old lady that got mad out of nowhere this morning. Just because i wasn't in public and no one could hear me doesn't mean i was't as angry for absolutely no reason.

I felt dumb after, for being mad, and the hateful thoughts i had. i should have just left the living room without getting hateful if i wanted some alone time, i didn't have to manifest that hateful energy onto the world by cussing to myself and being a brat.

It's crazy how the world reflects your emotions back to you beforeyou're even able to articulat or identify them sometimes. To come to terms with the fact i still had anger inside of me that could be ignited by the most mundane stuff like not being able to take some alone time when it's something i could have managed without anger( by just leaving).

I prayes the same night to God so that he would help me manage that anger better and not fall into the trap of saying or doing things i would end up regretting.

i want to focus solely on myself and my own growth and my relationship with God. i wonder if there are other christian women in the same boat ?

ps: question for other celibate women.

i don't know if yall have been to the celibacy sub, but the amount of non celibate men who post butthurt comments under posts made by women, either practicing or considering celibacy is hilarious.

There was one post where a woman was talking about her own self growth, coming to terms with herself, and one comment was a married guy, telling her she had to avoid relationships alltogeher because men's PP, men's feelings get hurt, men view sex as the culprit for a relationship, yadayada.
This is not at all what her post was about, and doesn't enlighten her as to whether celibacy is the right choice for her. How is this comment even relevant ??

Not to mention it's false. Many couples aren't having sex. Just because as they grow older, most people let themselves go, and love evolves from physical to a more understated, more stable form of "love". people also don't have time or don't feel like they have the libido because they're trapped between children, obligations, responsibility, work, etc... so many things can happen in someone's life, and that's not always an indication as to whether the relationship is doing well if people aren't having sex. And some people are okay with their partner being abstinent if they share the same religious or spiritual beliefs.

>"If you stay celibate, i strongly urge you to not start a relationship..." "Men generally want a sexual relationship as a gage to how well the entire relationship is going in its entirety. If you feel like you can't or don't have a desire to express yourself as such then in my opinion it is better to go it alone without added expectations."

The person who made this statement isn't even celibate since their profile clearly states they're married.

Married man who have nothing to do with celibacy, don't even practice it, feeling threatened by a post by a random woman who conteplates celibacy as an option ? make it make sense.
There are other passive agressive comments by men under these posts all the time whenever a woman makes a post. It's very enlightening how as soon as you decenter males and don't let them use you for their sexual gratification, some of them feel as though it's an attack on them.

If you’re mad at your boss and need to vent that’s fine. But keep that energy for when you’re with him and keep your anger in check. Don’t talk to people with hostility or attitude when they’re listening and trying to be empathic

especially the side-tongue pics. Makes you look like a dumb*ss sorry. lmao

Ever since i decentered men (i've never been in a relationship but was still seeking outside validation), and know my worth, i feel like i'm more inclined to try and look good for me and not for others.

Like i said in a previous post, refocusing on myself made me see my value and looks are also part of it, idc if guys find me attractive, therefore i feel more attractive because my value is not attached to an outsider's validaiton.

i actually put a lot more effort into how i look than when i cared what thers thought lol, because i know it's not a chore but more like an act of self love. i feel more confident so it's worth it.

I guess that's the difference between abstinence and celibacy.

Abstinence is passive while celibacy is actively focusing on yourself.

Ever since i stopped looking for a partner or for outside validation really, i began seeing myself in a new light.

I would always be worried about how others would perceive me and if i was "intimidating" or not "feminine" enough.
I stopped worrying about all this when i got rejected and ever since, i'm more comfortable with myself.

It's like i forgot i even had to nurture this relationship i had with myself first.

I don't feel the 'pressure' to make myself appealing or available to the opposite sex anymore. And feel prettier eventhough i haven't changed that much.

It's like once i started building a relationship with myself i realized "but wait, i have all those things going on for myself and i didn't see it ?" It's like God gave me all these gifts and qualities and i was just sleeping on them because i was blind to it cause too busy looking outside of myself for someone to "complete" me.

If person A has been rejected by person B in public and people overheard it. Would it be embarrassing for them to be seen with that person in front of the same people who witnessed the rejection ?

If you started seeing someone and they told you they didn’t like your looks but are willing to try and move past it because they like your personality ?

why does it happen

And i’m tired of people telling us it can.
Libfems trying to claim sexual revolution or gaslight themselves into thinking this is okay is making it worse.

I think a lot of people are just disconnected or have some sort of sexual trauma they aren’t processing and using porn as a cope. just like some people who claim it’s empowering to reenact their sexual abuse with bdsm to not feel like victims. Reclaiming their abuse or trauma in a way. I believe a libfems have the same attitude wrt to porn. If they admited porn is a representation of women’s second class citizen status in society, then it would force them to realize they can never be truly liberated and that the act of sex in itself is an extension of women’s lower status. it‘s too much of a mindf*k (no pun intended). So they’d rather try to make it into something else to make the most out of an already messed up situation.

even on reddit there are subs where they trying to share « women friendly porn in response to all the claims that porn is unethical. I have a hard time thinking these aren’t bots, they sound like it.

i learned traditional box braids and would always do it underhand.

i just started learning the technique for knotless and was wondering If overhand vs underhand braiding makes a lot of difference and which will give better results ?

Hi, i never done braids with weaves on myself but i’m gonna try doing it and am watching ytb videos to learn the proper technique.

I like this guy’s videos because he explains very well but wonder which is better ?