u/Crafter235

A while back, I had looked back into the history of the infamous actor, and seeing his overall history of abuse as well as the manipulation to win people over. For a major thing I saw was with how he weaponized how people viewed him like an "eccentric outcast" or "emotional (gothic) sad boy" like in a lot of past roles (especially in Tim Burton films). With a deeper dive into the psychology of misogyny and all, something else had made me look over to Harry Potter for a moment. When looking back at the character Snape, and his whole arc, it all made sense.

When seeing the character Severus Snape and how he's treated, I notice with parallels where he gets a last-minute redemption and whitewashed despite all he has done. And even in a meta sense, when people defend the choice to redeem him or say he's multi-dimensional, it kind of reminded me for a moment with that "outsider" appeal that Depp had back in his prime. Also note that whenever there's discussion about him being bullied by James, I notice how even people who are critical of Snape and his arc will go to lengths to defend this aspect, claiming it gives nuance or something something cycle of violence. **The funny thing though is that you could argue it's bad writing and messes up James Potter, whether it be his character is butchered or forced in last-minute for someone who's barely even a character. But no, everyone goes to the perspective that involved protecting the character of Snape. Of course Rowling would still give James the pass because of the "good team" stuff, but there's still wiggle room left to justify Snape.** And with learning the whole psychology of defending abusive men as "sad, broken, and can be fixed", it made me wonder with these psychological aspects that lead to people defending the character of Snape. And as this is a fictional story, it's much easier to rewrite the narrative than try to rewrite literal reality, so of course it's changed to make Snape sympathetic, even if it's greatly forced.

In addition, when comparing Depp and Rowling, I noticed a lot of parallels between them:

\- Has-beens mostly living on royalty money from something successful in the past but not much in the recent present, and to get the attention they crave, they get involved with regressive politics

\- This whole "edgy and progressive rebel" image (especially in the past) when in reality they've always reinforced the status quo/system and are controlling bigots

\- Having a cult of personality that shuts down any criticism, history of activity, or calling things out

\- Weaponizing both nostalgia and prejudices within lefist/liberal circles to win sympathizers and supporters over

\- Get infantilized whenever they demonstrate their sociopathic, manchild behavior and personalities

\- Having especially queer women as targets, and generally queerphobic

\- History of having a lot of close ties and friendships with abusers and predators

Was there shallow fangirling involved with Rowling to Depp? Most likely yes, but also when seeing closer details, it also feels like an abusive, predatory person relating and liking another abusive, predatory person.

Note that this is coming from someone who is non-binary, bisexual, autistic, and in college.

Earlier today, my mom kept on begging me to tell her if something is wrong, but I kept holding it off. Finally, at some point, I decided to just tell her that it's hard to talk to her about stuff like this because of my social awkwardness and the fear of everything blowing up over saying one wrong thing. I tried to tell her I would discuss it later today, but then she started doing the whole "worry face" and guilt-tripping that it will make her feel awful, and I made the terrible mistake of explaining.

A few years ago, around the night before the first day of my highschool senior year, I had made a remark about simple therapy in college asking about it (it was when I was beginnging to question my gender). A little later that night in private (right before bed), my mother kept on begging me to tell her what it was. Wanting to say it properly (as I viewed them as ignorant but well-intentioned), kept telling her that I would explain it tomorrow, but she kept on begging and begging, even guilt-tripping me into finally outing myself. And note: I did not say I was trans or non-binary, I said that I might be, but do not know yet. The next morning, she suddenly goes into this whole rant and such. First it's all about with transfolk dying and statistics and such, and then she started saying stuff about being trans and just overall making me feel like a terrible person, and ruining the rest of that first day of Highschool. When coming home she later apologized, but it wasn't a true apology (thinking in retrospect) and trying ot make it about how "we were both wrong", so it's clear she wasn't really going to take any responsibility. And while I have tried to move on and continue with my life, that whole moment still haunts me, as it was one of the first times I had truly lost a huge level of both respect AND trust.

Back to before, when remarking about this moment (and I did try to say it in the most neutral way), my mother suddenly acted all confused and shocked, that she would've done such a thing. She straight up acted like not just that she "forgot", but literally the fact that it ever actually happened. I tried telling her when it occurred, but then she was all going on about how that was so "long ago" and accused me of bringing up the past without even actually listening. I tried to explain, but then she started twisting my words, and with stuff happening and feeling gaslit, that she conveniently didn't remember hurting me so badly, I finally snapped and yelled out the stuff. And then she revealed her true colors.

As she was all ranting about how it was so long ago and that I shouldn't hold onto stuff, we ended up in a huge verbal argument (though it was her just trying to overpower me and I am trying to end the conversation), at some point I had brought up a time in which she talked how it wasn't right for a man to beat a trans woman, but she remarked about how "what if he felt like he was being lied to?" Because I was in such a bad emotional state after being gaslit that a traumatic memory never happened, I brought it up as her "sympathizing with a trans beater". She suddenly got so furious, she claimed that she would never support one, proceeded to go on about me making stuff up, and accused me of always trying to make her out to be a bad person (now thinking about it as I write, I realize that under all my guilt and self-loathing, my mother has constantly framing me as an ungrateful child).

As she was all ranting about how she and my father try to hard to support me and everything, she had said something that had confirmed all my fears and worries, what she truly had thought of me:

She told me that this is why "your people" struggle to get support. That we are apparently unlikeable assholes who force stuff onto others, and that it's natural to react like an animal being bothered. As she kept on aggressively ranting and yelling about how she has done "so much", she then started to hold stuff over me. She told me that I must have never experienced queerphobia before, that she never kicked me out of the house, that she could've cut all my funding to college but chose not to. For being a supposedly supportive parent, she was really quick to threaten me.

And it's ironic with how she claims to try, because whenever I have tried to help educate her in the past, she suddenly becomes this useless idiot who can't even read a simple sentence or understand a word like "cisgender", even with the most simplest explanation. Or when I try to suggest about gender neutral clothing the next time she goes shopping, she suddenly acts all dumbfounded and confused. Now I realize a lot of it is a mix of laziness and weaponized incompetence to make me feel better on a surface level, but let's be honest she never gave a shit.

But with before, as she was all ranting, she of course goes into this whole monologue where I can't interrupt her, and it's like she does it for as long as possible until I cannot argue back. I end up start stimmering, as that is all I could do in such emotional distress, plus literally being gaslit about a huge traumatic moment in my life, and then as she's all saying I like to make things up, she suddenly goes "See? You're doing that again!", and trying to make it like I enjoy being a victim. Finally when the argument was coming to an end (I would never win, I just needed it to stop so I could think clearly), she then demanded that I do not talk about anything queer-related to her until my father comes later tonight, as she's afraid that she will "accidentally say something bigoted". And at this moment, I just closed myself off in my room (I am stuck in a small apartment) to get any privacy.

Later after my father got a text from my mother, he called to check in on me. At first I had answered because I just needed someone to talk to, but then after I brought up what my mom said about "your people", it became apparent my father did not support me. He immediately sided with my mother, and that she had a point about social issues, and that at the moment she felt cornered, didn't know what to do, and just had to react. He tried to sound neutral, but at this point it was obvious he did not really take my side. And now, at the time of writing, he wants me to write down on a physical piece of paper, with a pencil or pen, all the things "I think they did", and then tonight we'd go over it together, in-person. And I am not allowed to write it on a phone. And at this point, I've begun to suspect that their whole "You should talk in person" thing they've had with problems over the years is really just an excuse to corner me and shut me up, as they know I struggle socially. Also note that my father likes to complain about queerness being "forced on", and cheered when Bud Light was boycotted over a trans woman being on the advertisement.

With all of this in mind, I am legit scared for my life, especially with how my mother was essentially threatening me while pretending to be supportive, and I do not know what to do with this all. Obviously I am not going to win anything tonight, I just need some help with damage control, I am scared and I do not know what to do. And especially I feel that they make their queerphobic remarks span over long amounts of time so either I would forget, or if I were to bring it up, they can ask me "what are you talking about" and make it seem like I make things up because I don't remember the exact date and time. Which is ironic, because especially my mom can conveniently complain about some asshole who just happened to be gay and how it happens "all the time", and she gets really emotional about it.

Please someone, sorry for this long rant, but I really need help, as I do not know what to do tonight.

Note that this is coming from someone who is non-binary, bisexual, autistic, and in college.

Earlier today, my mom kept on begging me to tell her if something is wrong, but I kept holding it off. Finally, at some point, I decided to just tell her that it's hard to talk to her about stuff like this because of my social awkwardness and the fear of everything blowing up over saying one wrong thing. I tried to tell her I would discuss it later today, but then she started doing the whole "worry face" and guilt-tripping that it will make her feel awful, and I made the terrible mistake of explaining.

A few years ago, around the night before the first day of my highschool senior year, I had made a remark about simple therapy in college asking about it (it was when I was beginnging to question my gender). A little later that night in private (right before bed), my mother kept on begging me to tell her what it was. Wanting to say it properly (as I viewed them as ignorant but well-intentioned), kept telling her that I would explain it tomorrow, but she kept on begging and begging, even guilt-tripping me into finally outing myself. And note: I did not say I was trans or non-binary, I said that I might be, but do not know yet. The next morning, she suddenly goes into this whole rant and such. First it's all about with transfolk dying and statistics and such, and then she started saying stuff about being trans and just overall making me feel like a terrible person, and ruining the rest of that first day of Highschool. When coming home she later apologized, but it wasn't a true apology (thinking in retrospect) and trying ot make it about how "we were both wrong", so it's clear she wasn't really going to take any responsibility. And while I have tried to move on and continue with my life, that whole moment still haunts me, as it was one of the first times I had truly lost a huge level of both respect AND trust.

Back to before, when remarking about this moment (and I did try to say it in the most neutral way), my mother suddenly acted all confused and shocked, that she would've done such a thing. She straight up acted like not just that she "forgot", but literally the fact that it ever actually happened. I tried telling her when it occurred, but then she was all going on about how that was so "long ago" and accused me of bringing up the past without even actually listening. I tried to explain, but then she started twisting my words, and with stuff happening and feeling gaslit, that she conveniently didn't remember hurting me so badly, I finally snapped and yelled out the stuff. And then she revealed her true colors.

As she was all ranting about how it was so long ago and that I shouldn't hold onto stuff, we ended up in a huge verbal argument (though it was her just trying to overpower me and I am trying to end the conversation), at some point I had brought up a time in which she talked how it wasn't right for a man to beat a trans woman, but she remarked about how "what if he felt like he was being lied to?" Because I was in such a bad emotional state after being gaslit that a traumatic memory never happened, I brought it up as her "sympathizing with a trans beater". She suddenly got so furious, she claimed that she would never support one, proceeded to go on about me making stuff up, and accused me of always trying to make her out to be a bad person (now thinking about it as I write, I realize that under all my guilt and self-loathing, my mother has constantly framing me as an ungrateful child).

As she was all ranting about how she and my father try to hard to support me and everything, she had said something that had confirmed all my fears and worries, what she truly had thought of me:

She told me that this is why "your people" struggle to get support. That we are apparently unlikeable assholes who force stuff onto others, and that it's natural to react like an animal being bothered. As she kept on aggressively ranting and yelling about how she has done "so much", she then started to hold stuff over me. She told me that I must have never experienced queerphobia before, that she never kicked me out of the house, that she could've cut all my funding to college but chose not to. For being a supposedly supportive parent, she was really quick to threaten me.

And it's ironic with how she claims to try, because whenever I have tried to help educate her in the past, she suddenly becomes this useless idiot who can't even read a simple sentence or understand a word like "cisgender", even with the most simplest explanation. Or when I try to suggest about gender neutral clothing the next time she goes shopping, she suddenly acts all dumbfounded and confused. Now I realize a lot of it is a mix of laziness and weaponized incompetence to make me feel better on a surface level, but let's be honest she never gave a shit.

But with before, as she was all ranting, she of course goes into this whole monologue where I can't interrupt her, and it's like she does it for as long as possible until I cannot argue back. I end up start stimmering, as that is all I could do in such emotional distress, plus literally being gaslit about a huge traumatic moment in my life, and then as she's all saying I like to make things up, she suddenly goes "See? You're doing that again!", and trying to make it like I enjoy being a victim. Finally when the argument was coming to an end (I would never win, I just needed it to stop so I could think clearly), she then demanded that I do not talk about anything queer-related to her until my father comes later tonight, as she's afraid that she will "accidentally say something bigoted". And at this moment, I just closed myself off in my room (I am stuck in a small apartment) to get any privacy.

Later after my father got a text from my mother, he called to check in on me. At first I had answered because I just needed someone to talk to, but then after I brought up what my mom said about "your people", it became apparent my father did not support me. He immediately sided with my mother, and that she had a point about social issues, and that at the moment she felt cornered, didn't know what to do, and just had to react. He tried to sound neutral, but at this point it was obvious he did not really take my side. And now, at the time of writing, he wants me to write down on a physical piece of paper, with a pencil or pen, all the things "I think they did", and then tonight we'd go over it together, in-person. And I am not allowed to write it on a phone. And at this point, I've begun to suspect that their whole "You should talk in person" thing they've had with problems over the years is really just an excuse to corner me and shut me up, as they know I struggle socially. Also note that my father likes to complain about queerness being "forced on", and cheered when Bud Light was boycotted over a trans woman being on the advertisement.

With all of this in mind, I am legit scared for my life, especially with how my mother was essentially threatening me while pretending to be supportive, and I do not know what to do with this all. Obviously I am not going to win anything tonight, I just need some help with damage control, I am scared and I do not know what to do. And especially I feel that they make their queerphobic remarks span over long amounts of time so either I would forget, or if I were to bring it up, they can ask me "what are you talking about" and make it seem like I make things up because I don't remember the exact date and time. Which is ironic, because especially my mom can conveniently complain about some asshole who just happened to be gay and how it happens "all the time", and she gets really emotional about it.

Please someone, sorry for this long rant, but I really need help, as I do not know what to do tonight.

With the upcoming Evangelion series, and thinking about other stuff with how there's different canons and spin-offs, it had me wondering for a bit.

With spin-offs and different timelines of the canon, we see how there are usually other female pilots introduced, usually as more love interests. The two most commonly known ones are Mana from Girlfriend of Steel and Mari from the Rebuild films, but there are much more, even if more niche and obscure in comparison.

And with the upcoming new Evangelion series with Yoko Taro involved, provided they still have the same characters and similar story, it had me wondering: If they were to bring in a new character that could act as a love interest, what if they were a male character? As you already know, we have Kaworu as like a male love interest, and considering it's common knowledge that Shinji is bisexual, it had me wondering about this route. And also wanted to know what you guys would think of the idea and Kaworu isn't the only boy attracted to Shinji, vs. if it was another female character instead.

Something I have thought about whenever I see people whine about it. For with a lot of younger generations, it's obvious there is still a drive for sexual pleasure (I mean look at a lot of recently made mature shows, jokes, etc.). However, whenever I see older generations accuse them of being anti-sex, I begin to notice some patterns, such as:

• It's all conditional. As with people complaining about sex, I notice that the present sexual content has more of queerness and/or women with more agency, and they also tend to be the same people who get angry about that and will slut-shame people they call "SJW". Also all the "you are too sensitive snowflake" vibes makes me think this isn't really about sexual liberation.
• In recent times, there is more focus on consent and boundaries.
• For the past that they glorify, it's rampant with gross sex jokes, berating women, domination (not in a consensual BDSM way), etc.

But for all of these, I notice a main root core in a lot of these people: Entitlement. And when you consider with how much more misogyny and abuse there was (hidden) back then, it feels like a lot of these generational complaints seem like some dirty old creep who was a dudebro back then is angry that they cannot get away with being inappropriate as back then, so they make up all these exagerrations and call people prudish.

Kind of makes me think with people who panic over the whole "young men are being indoctrinated into incels" where they will "explain" it as women getting more independence and men feel lacking (they just want to reinforce patriarchy with liberal terminology), where it's like they want to sound progressive, but in reality they are trying to reinforce the abusive power dynamics of before.

In the end, with the obsession of the generational hate, I cannot help but notice there are some levels of misogyny, especially when seeing how today isn't as bad compared to norms back then, even despite a lot of upper-class (neo)liberals who whitewash the past like to scream about.

With the upcoming Evangelion series, and thinking about other stuff with how there's different canons and spin-offs, it had me wondering for a bit.

With spin-offs and different timelines of the canon, we see how there are usually other female pilots introduced, usually as more love interests. The two most commonly known ones are Mana from Girlfriend of Steel and Mari from the Rebuild films, but there are much more, even if more niche and obscure in comparison.

And with the upcoming new Evangelion series with Yoko Taro involved, provided they still have the same characters and similar story, it had me wondering: If they were to bring in a new character that could act as a love interest, what if they were a male character? As you already know, we have Kaworu as like a male love interest, and considering it's common knowledge that Shinji is bisexual, it had me wondering about this route. And also wanted to know what you guys would think of the idea and Kaworu isn't the only boy attracted to Shinji, vs. if it was another female character instead.

Recently, I had obtained Lawrence of Arabia via DVD, and while I am getting ready to watch it soon, where I live I had discovered that Netflix recently had the restored cut of the film, and now I am conflicted. I am not sure when the DVD copy I had was made, but it was at least more than 10 years ago, and while I can handle ad breaks usually with a film, I am unsure with how it will work with how Netflix spaced them out, especially since this film was made to be like a roadshow epic.

What would you recommend for a first time watching this epic film?

With the news of the Ed Gein show and now Murphy trying to adapt an Bret Easton Ellis novel, and being reminded of the chaos when one character from Knights of Guinevere was confirmed to not be genderqueer, it had me wondering. I have previously attempted at asking about this before, but because using Vivziepop as the main example, it unfortunately just went to internet hating and being accused of “double standards” despite the point of calling out one.

But with the main topic, I overall notice with how indie queer creators, from a small mistake to writing a queer character as flawed, will get immense amount of hate and even accusations of queerphobia. However, Murphy on the other hand can double down on negative stereotypes (not in a “be gay do crime” good way, more like “queers are sick freaks”), fetishize, and over all punch down on minorities and yet he still gets praise and is seen as progressive. And don’t get me wrong, I am aware of hate he gets, but it’s less about how he portrays queerfolk and more of just general writing, but even then with how he does queerfolk, there’s still some defense and support of it, whether it be “he’s just a product of his time” or trying to paint him in an overall sympathetic light. Also doesn’t really work when you hear how toxic he is behind the scenes. It’s also ironic with “product of his time” when you consider as the years go by, he just doubles down on his worse aspects instead of improving like most creators who make outdated stuff. And yet, indie queer creators get much more hate for much less. You bring up a problem about him, and you'll get all these comments of "Well what did you expect", despite other queer creators (and ones with much better queer rep and stories) being forced to higher standards. And while I bring up him specifically, this can also apply to a lot of (cis white) gay creators who get a pass for their biphobia, transphobia, racism, etc. Why the double standard?

And on a side note, whenever people try to just say it’s campy, it feels a lot of that “campiness” of Murphy’s shows is just an excuse to get away with being a sexist and prejudiced asshole. Not to mention whenever people bring up that he "opened new opportunities for marginalized groups", I cannot help but feel it's less of actually being progressive and more of this sense of paternalism and white saviour mentality. And at times when he tries to cover queer history, it just feels like gross appropriation that's only tolerated because he panders to respectability politics.