I went to vegas. Was so afraid at first but i did it! In fact, i got bored there and back and wished it was a bit more rocky bcs it was kinda fun.
I didnt even need my anxiety medicine.
I sadly have no advice. I truly just locked in. This typically doesnt work for my anxiety so idk why it worked this time.
Im 23. i leech off my parents rn and im saving to move out.
I love my mom and i know she means well, but she goes out of her way even when I tell her not to. i know i cant control her, but I care about her and dont want to take advantage of her.
She has done this my whole life and i think she thinks prioritizing herself makes her a bad mom.
If i dont get to my laundry first, she folds it. She constantly worries about me. As a kid when she wanted alone time but i wanted attention, she would never set boundaries with me. I tell her to not worry about me but she says she has to because shes my mom.
I feel extremely guilty. I feel like she wont be able to put herself first if im around. Even then, my brother is disabled and cannot move out, so she never gets to truly put herself first. I hopefully can be my brother's caretaker one day, but i cant right now. i also worry if i move out, the uncertainty will also make her worry.
I know i cant control her, but I dont think its right for me to not try. I would be taking advantage of her. I feel like no matter what I do, itll make her put me first when she should be putting herself first and I really worry about her. Shes an amazing person but clearly has self worth issues. I dont want to take advantage of that.
I dont dream of it. I want a stable job out of the call center.
I dont think adjusters have almost any power over a claim, so I feel a bit better, but i worry its still not ethical since I am still hurting people, even if I dont make the rules.
I cannot get another job . the goalpost moves the moment it becomes tolerable. ive only been here since June, but I cannot do this anymore and finding a new job has gone nowhere. Rn, my goal is to save up enough to move out and slowly fizzle out of my parents life. I want to do all i can to make my parents not notice my absence or ever find out what happened to me.
every day, waking up is torture. I cant sleep at night. Ive been hallucinating. I dont have enough pto to seek help. people have suggested fmla but as someone who works in claims including fmla, that shit never gets approved.
Im sorry, but I cannot do this anymore. I cannot take the abuse. I cannot take more work being piled on. I cannot take being blamed for everything regardless of if I can control it. I cannot take not being treated like a human being.
Itll be a while, but ive already planned it out. Between that and spending years here, both will kill a part of me. At least this way, they dont get to use me anymore.
PLEASE HELP!! should i just quit??
thought i had months to prepare. I cant do this. I genuienly cant. I think I might quit on the spot but where will I go? .
Im freaking oit. I cant do this mentally. Im already so bad mentally. So, so bad. I cant do this.
I dont know if i can survive this.
Any advice. Please help. Im genuinely feeling like im trapped and the only way out is to die
Phone answers. Loud as fuck geiger counter noise.
I get they cannot control the bad connection, im not blaming them, but i wish i was able to mute them between talking. He would pause and then itd be a loud as fuck static noise giving me a headache.
My head hurts ....
I get it isnt his fault, but my head hurts from that.
Im less concerned with living and more the falling sensation.
I have a huge fear of falling. I feel sick when im in elevators. i used to love roller coasters, cant do most of them anymore. I went on a drop tower years ago that gave me such an extreme fear of falling that i cant even watch cartoons where a character falls out of the sky.
The sensation is so unpleasant and it sends my body into "youre actively dying" mode.
My dog who died when I was about 17 (6 yrs ago roughly) basically just lives in my mall world. i acknowledge he is dead, but also am not terribly phased by him coming back. I treat it as though he is a lost cat that came back after years of being missing. Sometimes, i acknowledge he is dead but somehow in front of me but dont connect the dots on how that doesnt make sense.
Its not just seeing him anymore, it is that he exists in this specific consistent dream world.
Im just glad to see my boy again.
"I dont know what i do to hurt you!"
I told you I TOLD YOU. Bluntly. Several times. As clear as possible. I told you exactly what you do. I do not know how much clearer I can be.
"Why dont you just communicate why youre mad? you never want to have adult conversatikns" I HAVE I have. for years. over and over. Every time this question gets asked and just in general every day. I do communicate, you just REFUSE to listen
im just tired of being treated like im being the one who isnt communicating like an adult. I am. I literally say exactly what bothers me and hold her hand. But she always makes excuses for why she has to do things that bother me.
"i have to make fun of you because i dont know how else to connect with you" Then you need to learn basic human social interaction if you seriously cannot connect with anyone without insulting their interests. obviously im not going to open up if you hurl insults when i express my interests!
Im autistic and I was the weird kid my entire life because I am socially awkward and struggle with talking to people. It is not an excuse. If i hurt feelings, i apologize and change my behavior.
I dont have it in my to argue with my mom or have her telling me how me wanting alone time is making me more depressed. I need to be allowed to mourn. i need to be allowed to not talk. My mom is utterly incapable of sitting in silence.
I dont want to talk about work or job interviews or depression. I just want to mourn my pet. I just want to be allowed to be sad and alone
I feel like a failure. I confirmed it did escape and waited a bit too. Searched area. Its gone.
Im heartbroken. I just miss my spider baby.
Started an interview. Immediately, my mom starts screaming for me. I told her I was having the inteview that morning. I have to yell back "Mom, im doing an interview" so she doesnt keep yelling.
I just feel crushed. I got up early to do this interview just for this to happen. Im already mad at my Mom for an argument we had last night, so Im just so angry. I feel like ill never get out of my shitty call center job.
Edit: yes i fucked it up too. I panicked. My mom doesnt take no for an answer . unfortuntely cant leave bcs interviews are only ever right before or during my work hours and my breaks are unpredictable every day but i can figure it out for next time.
I just feel like there is a lot of incest porn but i always think "damn, what if you found out your kid jerked it to that? i wonder how a parent would react and surely this has happened to someone before"
I agree with all the stuff ive heard abt it but I also take ages to read. Took me three years to finish dracula and im dumb as shit lmaooo. Does that make me not considered an anarchist? do u gotta read all of it ?
Edit: so i dont rlly care abt calling myself an anarchist as an identity, but it does help ppl understand my beliefs if they ask. I say im a leftist but some leftists are tankies so if i fit that mold, id like to specify ig
I feel like ppl always comment on these "you cant cope" or "just dissasociate" but if anyone has any genuine advice
Some things i do are
merge games on phone. Easy to do without being focused. Calms anxiety.
pretend im playing one of those roblox games where you are at work and have to determine if the customer is an anomaly or smthn so i guess if each caller is an "anomaly"
Doing well = you get another client = higher call volume
Im basically sticking this one out for as long as possible and quitting the second they tell me im ready for another client. My mental health is already very bad due to this job. trying to buy time so i can get another job.
Issue is, how can i quiet quit? ACW is 30s and even a bit over that will immediately have a team lead in your teams chat. I dont want to mess up in a way that hurts callers either.
how exactly does one quiet quit when team leads breathe down your neck and make sure youre following everything?
The absurdity of my work astounds me. I wouldnt have believed months ago that it could possibly be this absurd and I have anxiety and always anticipate the worst case scenerio. And I work at one of the better call centers, from what ive seen. My coping mechanism for stress is to focus on how absurd that everything is.
The company literally makes a point to refer to us as colleagues instead of humans. Our HR is CR. I heard the instructor during training mention that and that was the funniest shit to me.
My job makes me miserable and I am seeking therapy, but I at least exhale sharply when some bullshit happens.
I dont know, it just makes me feel a bit better noticing how goofy it can be. The micromanaging down to the literal second, the way we are expected to do overtime if we are a few seconds late returning from break, having my friends from outside my country tell me how what my company is doing would break so many laws in their countries. It makes me take it less seriously, so I like hearing abt it
Also my mom defending my supervisors when i tell her why im so stressed because "they have to do thats good for the company" makes it all just seem very absurd
Work from home, call center.
We are supposed to transfer to certain people in certain scenerios. i got transferred to a new team, and every time i transfer like im supposed to, the person im transferring to has an attitude about it half the time. They are higher up than me in the company too.
My old team was a lot more professional. There are some nice people on my new team, but there are so many times where I have to take a deep breath before transferring because heaven forbid that someone who is higher than me in the company that im *supposed to transfer to* has to take a phone call.
Like i get we all hate this job and call centers suck, but do not get an attitude with me for doing what im supposed to do. If im doing something, tell me. i genuinely dont know.
I was driving today and saw someone pulled over and thought that surely, that has got to give people seizures. Is that a thing? is it slow enough to not cause it?