u/Intrepid_Somewhere17

Usually we're all coconscious but the host is just fucking gone and we've got volunteer work tomorrow and also agreed to stream with a friend and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to let anyone down.

But I don't remember what to do for the host's volunteer work because they did all of it and we thought we all shared memories but I guess not. And for the stream with a friend what happens when I show up a completely different person? I dunno if I can fake being the host for three hours. It's midnight and I can't sleep. Even the little's gone it's just me here and I'm scared I've never been alone like this before.

I have one little, and I realise I haven't been doing right by them. They're about seven, and they're very kind and sensitive.

I can't watch nature documentaries with them because they don't like animal death, and documentaries usually involve some animal death. I can't write with them because my memory is poor and I only have one world I know well enough to write and it's a dystopia. Most books stress them out, and I've tried reading YA but they get bored of it and want more complex themes, but books with those complex themes are too dark for them.

I just don't know how to make them happy. I have so many things I love to do (streaming, writing, music) and I want them to have that same fulfillment.

I'm thinking maybe calming music might be something they could enjoy. I'll have to stop listening to some of my more intense songs I usually like for their sake. Does anyone have tips to care for a little who's hungry for complex topics but can't abide darkness?

Maybe I could try and learn how to make music - that's a complex, challenging task which I think they'd enjoy, and it's without death or darkness!

Problem is I'm disabled and get tired very easily, and I don't know how to do all the things all of us want to do. We want to do sewing music creation writing gaming art and talking to all our friends and we can't do it all. We just feel so lost.