u/RhubarbBusy7122

I was in the kitchen talking to my mom about makeup, more specifically a new lip combo I tried and just like long-form YouTube style monologue about color theory and undertones and different brands.

My dad was in the living room on the same floor (not even part of the conversation) and walked up to us to say like “nobody cares about your lipstick or makeup, people are just listening to be polite. Your mom doesn’t even wear makeup, she doesn’t care.”

Which was funny to me because my mom is also a certified yapper. She’ll tell me long stories about things I don’t personally care about and I still listen because I like talking to her. My mom even defended me and said like telling him to leave, because like we, we were not even talking to him.

I was like damn, I can’t even give my lipstick TED Talk in my own kitchen? 😭 I didn't know that he couldn't even tolerate me speaking on the same floor as him for like more than a minute.

i love the finish of lip oils and glosses i just don’t get why everyone’s like Wow when it has a really nice color

you’ll have to reapply within a minute or an hour and idek why someone would spend $40 on a lip oil (i.e. dior lip oil)

everyone tells me to use Facebook to find a roommate, but I find it caters to the older generation and no one my age seems to use Facebook ….

so I’m wondering how are the 20 somethings finding roommates if they don’t know anyone

My budget is $1300-1500 for 1bd 1bth. I’m looking for places with good management, responsive maintenance, reasonable rent increases, safe surroundings, and no issues with pests.

Any apartments (or management companies) you’d recommend or avoid?

i’m looking at apartments and it’s usually 1300 for a single in my area and when I look for two bedroom the number is in the 2000s so it’s actually not cheaper in my area to have roommates unless you’re having at least three…. is this normal for your area ?

I mean, you can technically find less than that, but not without significant issues like bug infestation , crime, mold etc

I feel like you’re not necessarily saving money by having a roommate, but you might have a bigger place, but you guys will each still pay a pretty decent amount of money.

My Dad is calling me dumb because he’s willing to pass his car to me for $0, because he isn’t requiring me to buy the car from him in order to drive it. He will keep ownership and I have to send him money to handle repairs on the car. I have to pay insurance to use it. I’m 21 and broke, no credit card debt or student loans.

I’m telling him he could write the car as gift to me for $0 and transfer the title this way. He wasn’t willing to hear it. Am I really dumb? And missing out on a good deal?

All I see this is as is that my access to a car will be dependent on my Dad liking me. If I’m not the owner, it can always be taken away.

I live about 35 minutes outside of downtown. I’m getting my own car and becoming more independent. I wanted to explore my local city's cocktail scene, but then I realized if I drink, where would my car go? 

I don't want to leave it overnight. But I also don't want to Uber to the location because it'll be like 50 to 100 dollars. And I don't know that many people, honestly. Sometimes maybe I might just want to go by myself, or with one other friend so that we can go get drinks. So, how do people handle this stuff?

When I drink, it's usually like one cocktail drink, not more than that. Would that be fine to drive, or even for that, I have to be careful? And YEAH WAIT A SECOND, what do couples do? Does one person just never drink on date night??

For those who have already left a controlling or highly restrictive family environment, I’m curious about what happened afterward.

How did your upbringing affect your social skills, friendships, dating, confidence, or sense of independence? Did you feel like you had to learn things that other adults seemed to pick up naturally?

Once you moved out, did your social life improve quickly, or did you find that the effects of your upbringing stayed with you for years? What was surprisingly easier than you expected, and what remained difficult?

I’m asking because many people outside these communities simply say, “Move out and your problems will be solved.” My impression is that leaving may be necessary for some people, but it isn’t the same thing as healing. I’d really like to hear what life actually looked like after you gained your independence.

I'm a 24 year old woman, and I’ve been trying to build female friendships for the past year since moving home after university but I’m starting to wonder if it’s realistic given my current circumstances.

I started my first job this year where I work remotely from 9-5, but I still live at home in a patriarchal family where I have much less independence than most people my age. Historically, my father has vetoed going out after 5 pm, driving the car because the insurance premium is too high, and told me if i want a social life I can uber every where. We live in suburbs so that would be $100/day + whatever the fee of these social events are. If my father decides last minute he wants us to go to temple/church, I have to cancel my plans. I also am in a masters program, so this effectively makes 9 am - 5 pm on Sunday my only available period. It sucks so bad because genuinely my calendar is open after work and in spare time, but someone else can just override what I naturally want to do.

That makes it harder for me to show up at the same rate as someone without these circumstances. I try as much as I can to hide that these are my circumstances, but I feel like people find out quickly and the difference in what we're used to do make me feel out of place. Yeah, I haven't traveled, gone clubbing, or have spotaneous fun anything stories to entertain you but I'm tired of being a homebody.

I want friends, but my limited autonomy makes me feel like I can’t participate in friendship the way other adults can. This makes me feel like my life is meaningless and I can't stomach the idea of being a loner for another 2 years. I feel like i'm wasting my youth but I'm also showing up to so many events and retaining no people.

What could I try in the meantime as I save up for moving out?

I’m a 24-year-old woman, and I’ve been trying to build female friendships for the past year but I’m starting to wonder if it’s realistic given my current circumstances.

I started my first job this year where I work remotely from 9-5, but I still live at home in a patriarchal family where I have much less independence than most people my age. Historically, my father has vetoed going out after 5 pm, driving the car because the insurance premium is too high, and told me if i want a social life I can uber every where. We live in suburbs so that would be $100/day + whatever the fee of these social events are. If my father decides last minute he wants us to go to temple/church, I have to cancel my plans. I also am in a masters program, so this effectively makes 9 am - 5 pm on Sunday my only available period. It sucks so bad because genuinely my calendar is open after work and in spare time, but someone else can just override what I naturally want to do.

That makes it harder for me to show up at the same rate as someone without these circumstances. I try as much as I can to hide that these are my circumstances, but I feel like people find out quickly and the difference in what we're used to do make me feel out of place. Yeah, I haven't traveled, gone clubbing, or have spotaneous fun anything stories to entertain you but I'm tired of being a homebody.

I want friends, but my limited autonomy makes me feel like I can’t participate in friendship the way other adults can. This makes me feel like my life is meaningless and I can't stomach the idea of being a loner for another 2 years. I feel like i'm wasting my youth but I'm also showing up to so many events and retaining no people. What could I try in the meantime as I save up for moving out?

I haven’t dealt with situations like this. I’m not very close to her. Idk if I should say sorry for your loss when I see her or something else.

She officially told everyone two weeks ago and I said something then.

I just noticed that every other weather tool I use like Apple weather, weather.com and just type in like what’s the weather into Google…. from my area it’s showing no rain.

But AccuWeather says there’s a chance of thunderstorms and rain all throughout the day and it’s like the only site that says that that I could find is is there a reason why it’s different? Is it like more accurate than others?

Does your answer change if you’ve been part of the social community for a while but don’t feel especially established yet?

i’m going to a party by myself and one of the co hosts is someone who ghosted me on a date but i found this event through the other co hosts whose events i alr went to

i’m new to the area and im embracing every
opportunity i can to meet new people

but im like so insecure about it. when I think of myself, i tend to stand out in a bad way. im tall lanky with striking eyes so i draw attention but can’t sustain it….bc im not naturally charismatic. it really sucks to be trying your best and then someone says to you to be more chill or don’t be uncomfortable and I was literally not like that but I already know what I failed the normal test because they thought I was awkward .

on top of that, the person who ghosted me is super social and I just feel like I’m going to be outted as a fraud at at this event like whatever impression was there previously might’ve been there but now I’m really gonna look like a loser cause I don’t know anyone

and since I came by myself, I’m going to probably stand awkwardly for a couple minutes and not talk to anyone and I’m gonna have a hard time fitting into the conversations because I’m naturally awkward and charismatic and it just feels like confirmation like of course I ghosted you because you’re so boring obviously

despite all this, I still wanna go because I know that if I never show up anywhere, I’m definitely gonna stay like this forever, but also showing up by itself isn’t enough. it doesn’t help that I’m not normally a party person. I’ve never been drunk in my life.

i’m so scared that I’m gonna end up standing alone for more than one minute and it’s gonna stay like that for maybe an hour and then everyone’s gonna notice it or no one will notice it but I will notice it and I’ll feel awful and I’m trying to be as perfect as I can before the event so I can cosplay into someone that doesn’t get in a situation like that

this shit makes me low-key want to hide into the bathroom or stay near the food table and eat food except they’re not gonna be much food at this party

so why is this even happening? It’s because the person described it as a chill party with games and book exchange I was like OK that’s down my alley

And I really don't know why i thinking like all that, because, like, I go to events alone all the time. But I don't go to social events alone. You know, like, if it's a group event where everyone brings their friend, like, I'm not gonna be going there.

I don’t currently see a therapist, but I don’t know what one would do for me like I have this event like this week. It’s not like I can go have an appointment tomorrow and she gonna fix like whatever is wrong with me.

Ngl I dislike the People section of the new app, you have to wait for a match to start a conversation now

But the groups do make it easier for people to initiate hangouts and those actually go out of the groupchat

I’ve met up through groups multiple times but 1-1 nothing happens and the other person doesn’t try. Yet I hear so many people liked the old app because they met more people…

I’m not religious, but seeing that someone is Christian, practices a faith, or is passionate about their beliefs doesn’t bother me. As long as we have something in common and enjoy each other’s company, I’m open to being friends with people of any faith.

but twice now I’ve come across people that ask my number so that we can hang out and I find out they actually asked my number in order to have their faith mentor speak with me about supporting me in life and that’s a nice sentiment, but I just feel like this method is very coercive??

I’m wondering if this type of interaction is a violation of Bumble policy and if I should report people who do this.

Trying to understand what’s conventional beyond chips and cookies. Conventional desserts, side dishes for a picnic setup, snacks… at my home, we eat our cultural food and idk if that would be palatable to most Americans

My father has a 3-year-old Golden Retriever. He is friendly and knows a few basic commands, but he has never received leash or behavior training.

On walks, he lunges toward dogs and bicycles because he wants to play with everyone. He also resource guards paper, cardboard, plastic, and other items he should not have. If he thinks we’re going to take something away, he will often try to swallow it as quickly as possible. What started as baring his teeth has escalated into rushing to consume the item before we can intervene.

I’ve wanted to address this for a while because it’s a bite risk, but my parents were hesitant because of the cost of training (i.e. $1000/week paid upfront).

Now that I’m working, I’m willing to contribute financially, but I’m confused about what to expect. Some Rover trainers have told me these issues can be addressed in one session with trainer while others have emphasized that training isn’t an affordable service.

I’ve watched training videos and tried to work with him myself, but I feel out of my depth. He’s extremely food motivated, there’s not enough time for me to even practicing in a command because he’ll have learned the pattern quicker than connecting the behavior change to the pattern. we will practice with a rope and he’ll go after the rope when I throw it and he will hold it in his mouth for a split second and then drop it and look at me for the treat.

How serious do these issues sound, and what is a realistic budget and timeline for addressing them with trainer?