u/itz_vampy

may or may not be speaking from experience

Lots of beer, food, and kissing was involved in the making of this party <3

eta: didn’t think this silly montage would spark a political debate lol. anyways I had a magical time with these amazing people, love was definitely in the air last night xx

🖤🖤🖤

no context needed

the only thing i’ll correct is I don’t need to be reminded to be creative but i do need it to express myself more.

Not the first time i’ve been told that i can’t be something because of my gender. This was a thing even before transitioning: being told i couldn’t like boy stuff or i should act “like a lady” when i was a tomboy. Over the years i grew out of my dislike of “girly” and fem things. Now it’s I can’t be a femboy or like feminine things or i‘m fake trans. Everyone understands guys can like feminine things and look feminine but ig it’s a different story when he’s transgender.

hair update!

open to all suggestions as I figure out what modificatio would work best

You would think as time and generations pass society would be more progressive with self expression and not conforming to gender expectations. But it feels like we are regressing in a way. Now its like being a ”soft uwu girl/trad wife style” and “guy who looks homeless/wears the same 3 outfits” is being pushed again. Feminine men get laughed at or people assume they are gay or they are trans. it’s like the idea of a guy being feminine is a hard concept to grasp.

For me as a trans man I grew up as a tomboy. I never cared about looking pretty or feminine and I wore ’boy’s clothes’. I liked boys but everyone thought I was a lesbian because of the way i dressed and behaved. Like no what you wear and how you look has nothing to do with your sexuality. Although I was called an egg and yeah turns out i was trans but my style had little to do with it. I just wish gender nonconformity was encouraged more and people wouldn’t be quick to make assumptions based off of style.

i stg tiktok and x transphobic humor is fighting for last place at this point.

pov: you point out how trans men’s issues are ignored and ask for some visibility in the community

Don’t know if i’m alone in this, but i always felt a bit sad how trans men are basically invisible in the queer community. Like we are just an after thought when it comes to trans issues and concerns. 

When i see the mass support that trans women get i feel happy because i know it feels great to be affirmed, validated, and spoken up for. They have their own terms like “protect the dolls”, have more support, and whatnot, but most times trans men have to rely on ourselves to speak up about our issues. our issues are dismissed and often seen as “women issues” by the masses. we are told that we are defective and delusional women in hateful cis spaces and sometimes rivalled in trans spaces. 

we get different flavors of disdain depending on how much we pass. if we don’t pass we are attention seeking women, if we do pass our former “safe spaces” get ripped from us and we lose our support.

we’re hated like men and dismissed like women. it also feels weird when i see TERFs attack trans women but be “accepting” towards us transmascs because they basically see as confused women. It’s not affirming at all and caused me more dysphoria than a blatant transphobe. I have seen all types of harmful behavior towards trans men inside and outside of the community and it kinda sucks that despite us speaking about this many times it feels like no one is really listening.

ETA: Some of these comments are not it and i see people making digs at trans women. This isn’t some entryway to dunk on trans women. they are a vulnerable group with their own struggles and deserve all the kindness and support they get, so let’s not go there. Trans men don’t want your support if it means attacking our sisters.

i am coming to the conclusion that i will never be normal or pass the way i want to. my bf is amazing and deserves more happiness than what i can give. no amount of hormones will help me and accepting that makes this easier for me.

i’m just done at this point. i was already feeling like crap and i can’t even be vulnerable about something that affects me all the time because a cisgender will decide to pull a strawman and water down everything i say. ig me squeezing my bf’s hand during a triggered moment is me being “emotionally and physically“ abusive and i’m a terrible person.

The other time I was told that I looked like a “feminine woman” as a transmasc and decided to try a new look. Also adjusted my hormone levels :)!

have no idea why this sub was recommended to me a couple of weeks ago but it was the most vile place i’ve ever had the misfortune of finding, and i’ve seen a lot of things. literally saw posts telling trans people that we should self exit, get assaulted, and worse. it’s not even just rage baiting some of these people are unwell and genuinely hateful it made me sick. i’m glad it’s gone.

I don’t know why i’ve been having issues with my emotions lately, normally i’m more composed especially around my loved ones. i’ve been feeling kind of sick and irritated in the sense that anything kinda pisses me off. no it’s not pms, my hormone replacement has made my periods to stop. i don’t get those random monthly mood swings anymore. 

so that coupled with the terrible work week i’ve had and it’s just been hell for me. i normally have patience especially with being an asst manager but the new hire is just hopeless and he was just messing everything up and he’s technically my responsibility but oh god the general manager couldn’t have picked a worse time to appoint me to train someone. i’ll leave out the details but yeah i don’t think he’s going to last long here. i also have other personal things im going through but i don’t really like spilling all my issues online.

got home last night tired, fed up, and irritated. went straight to my room, because when im in a mood i don’t like interacting with anyone to avoid me unleashing my frustrations on them by accident. it’s a method ive been doing since i was a kid. i won’t speak to anyone until my mood gets better. my partner was home and he asked me how my day went. i gave short sentences because i reallyyyyy did not feel like talking. 

somehow he thought i was upset with him and i clarified that i wasn’t. he tried to make me feel better and i felt overwhelmed so i snapped at him. in all the years we’ve been together i’ve never yelled or raised my voice at him before. i felt like the biggest piece of shit ever. like he was being so sweet and trying to make me feel better and i reacted like a moody bitch. idk. i ended up bursting into tears because i just could not understand what was happening with me anymore. i apologized and despite that he didn’t take offense and took time to comfort me even after me doing that, which somehow made me feel even more guilty. 

like he’s had terrible days too and never did that to me, and here i am. this was yesterday but even now i just feel like the worst person ever. he’s at work and im at home trying to hold onto my mind. still not having much of an appetite so it’s saltine crackers for the whole day.

oh and these two cuties are getting a show soon! a win for sapphics everywhere.