u/savingrace0262

It's been about a year since my breakup, and for the most part I've moved on. I have my own routine now, I'm not sitting around hoping she texts me, and I don't spend every day thinking about her.

But every once in a while, something random hits me.

It'll be a song I forgot existed, a restaurant we used to go to, driving past a certain exit, seeing a couple doing something we used to do, even a random smell. For a few minutes it's like my brain gets transported back there and I feel this heavy ache in my chest. It fades, but on those days it lingers longer than I'd like.

What's confusing is I honestly don't know what I'm grieving anymore.

Do I actually miss her as a person? Or do I miss who I was during that chapter of my life? The routines, the inside jokes, having someone to tell about my day, the comfort of knowing someone was in my corner?

Sometimes I wonder if even if she knocked on my door today, we'd probably realize we're not even compatible anymore. Yet somehow those memories still have enough power to completely change my mood for a while.

For the men who've been through this, when did you realize you were missing the person versus missing the memories? Or is there really no clean line between the two?

Been taking NJTransit for almost a year now and decided that I can't do it anymore. Hate dealing with other passengers and idiotic bus drivers who can't drive. Plus, I I really don't like taking public transportation as it always leave me feeling kind of grimy, so I'd much rather drive my Porsche if it's realistic.

Let's say I leave around 6:00 AM and traffic isn't much of a factor. My office is in Chelsea, right off the Westside Highway.. Would that be a pretty stress-free commute, or is driving into Manhattan every day still a headache even if you beat most of the rush?

Would love to hear from people who have actually done it.

I went down a YouTube rabbit hole this morning and watched the The Chainsmokers' Ultra 2016 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_F2KOULJJtk) set right after watching John Summit's Ultra 2026 set (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aloPGSlq31Y&list=RDaloPGSlq31Y)

I picked those two on purpose bc they're probably two of the most mainstream acts of their respective eras so I don't think this is just an "underground vs. mainstream" thing.

The biggest thing that stood was the crowd.

Yes, there are people filming during the 2016 set, but it still feels like the majority of the crowd is dancing, jumping, singing along, or just watching the stage. Then I switched over to Summit's 2026 set, and it felt like there were phones in the air almost everywhere I looked. Obviously people were still having fun, but the number of people recording felt noticeably higher.

What's surprising is that 2016 really wasn't that long ago. I'm 34 now, I was only 24. Smartphones were everywhere. Instagram, Snapchat, and social media were already huge. It's not like everyone was walking around with flip phones. Yet the difference between those two crowds feels much bigger than I would've expected for just a 10 year gap.

So what actually changed? Is it simply that festivals have become more mainstream than they were back then? Or is this just me noticing something that isn't really there?

I know people have always recorded parts of sets, but going back and watching these two videos back to back made it feel like there was a pretty noticeable cultural shift in how people experience festivals.

Did anyone else notice this?

Say a team has an ace like Skenes or Skubal. If they're only at around 90–100 pitches and the game is close late, why don't managers ever just send them back out of the bullpen for an inning or two instead of using a relief pitcher?

Or even on one of their off days, why not use them for a high-leverage inning every once in a while? Wouldn't that be a smart idea?

Class of '15 here.

Does anyone else come back to Rutgers and think, "Damn...where was all this when I was a student?"

I was walking around College Ave recently and couldn't believe how much it's changed. Between all the new buildings, renovations, updated student spaces, and just how much cleaner everything feels, it's a completely different vibe from what I remember. Back then, parts of College Ave felt kind of run down.

Don't get me wrong, I still have a lot of nostalgia for the old Rutgers, but I can't help being a little jealous that current students get to enjoy a campus that looks so much better than it did 10+ years ago.

Let's say a pitcher has a nasty slider that's clearly his best pitch. Why not just keep throwing that over and over instead of mixing in fastballs, changeups, curveballs, etc.?

Even if they know it's coming, if it's the pitch that's hardest to hit, wouldn't it still make the most sense to spam it?

Trying to understand the strategy behind pitch sequencing

I've always worn glasses from luxury brands like Prada, but I've been thinking about trying Warby Parker for my next pair.

For those who've owned both, how do they compare in terms of build quality, comfort, durability, and overall feel? Is there a noticeable difference or are you mostly paying for the brand name with the luxury frames?

I'd especially love to hear from people who've gone from Prada or Oliver Peoples to Warby Parker (or vice versa). Was it worth the extra money?

I'm 35, single, a child of strict immigrant parents and they are getting increasingly worried that I have no real interest in settling down anytime soon. I'm sure some of you might be like "who the fuck cares what they think" but when they try to put pressure on you or treat you somewhat abnormal just because i'm not following a specific "timeline", it gets me aggravated.

A lot of their friends have kids around my age who are married, buying houses, and having children. They compare me to them and basically think I'm unusual because I'm still single and mostly interested in casual dating right now.

The part they don't seem to understand is that I never really got to experience that phase in my 20s. I spent most of my 20s focused on school and pretty much alone socially, so I feel like I completely missed out on dating, meeting different people, and figuring out what I actually want. Now that I'm finally in a place where I can date, I don't feel ready to jump straight into finding a wife just because of my age.

Their view is basically, "You're not in your 20s anymore. You should be looking for someone to marry." Very old school and traditional.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Did you feel behind compared to other people your age, or did you ignore the pressure and date at your own pace? Looking back, do you think your parents had a point or do you think it's better not to rush into a serious relationship just because the calendar says you should?

not a restaurant owner fyi, just curious from a customer perspective.

obviously rent, labor, insurance, and food costs have all gone up especially in big cities. I don't expect restaurants to charge the same prices they did 10 years ago.

but is there a point where increasing prices actually starts working against you because customers no longer feel like they're getting good value?

for example, if a restaurant sells something that's traditionally considered a simple or inexpensive item, do you worry that pricing it close to the cost of a full meal changes how customers perceive it?

how do you decide where that line is? is it mostly based on food cost and required margins, or do you also think about what customers expect an item to cost, even if those expectations aren't realistic anymore?

i'd be interested to hear how owners approach that tradeoff

I visited New York City for a week and stopped by a new kimbap spot that had just opened

The kimbap itself was decent. Nothing wrong with the quality.

But I almost laughed when I saw the prices. $16-18 for a single roll of kimbap?

Kimbap has always been one of those simple, everyday foods. In Korea it's something you grab when you want a quick bite, usually for around $3-4. Even in a lot of other U.S. cities, it's closer to $8-9.

I feel like Korean food is starting to get the same "premium" treatment that sushi got years ago, where people will pay almost anything because it's trendy.

Maybe I'm in the minority, but charging almost $20 for what's basically a casual snack just feels absurd to me, no matter how good it is.

Am I being cheap or have we completely lost the plot?

I've only recently started getting into baseball so this might be a dumb question.

I've noticed that when there's a runner on third and the batter hits a fly ball to the outfield, the runner will often tag up and run home after the catch.

But when there's a runner on first or second, they usually don't seem to do the same thing and try to advance to the next base.

Is it just because scoring a run is worth the risk, or is there another reason I'm missing?

when ppl talk about Cali it's always Bloods, Crips, hoods that's been around forever, banging colors, all that. here in NYC feels way different. over here it seem like everything about the block, the Ps, crews, and shit switch up way faster.

how did it end up like that? was it just how the cities grew up or was there something that made NYC go in a completely different direction?

I am talking strictly about influence on EDM as a whole. Things like changing the sound of electronic music, inspiring other producers, shaping subgenres, pushing live production, and overall impact on the scene.

If you had to rank the 3 from most to least influential, what would your list look like?

So I want to preface by saying that I don't really have an issue with being the provider once we're married or have kids. That makes sense to me.

What I'm talking about is the dating stage.

I've gone on dates with women who seem to expect the guy to cover pretty much everything from day one. Dinner, drinks, activities, trips, etc. It starts feeling less like we're building something together and more like I'm expected to bankroll the relationship before we've even become serious.

Personally, I think the dating phase should be more like 70/30 or 80/20 over time. I don't mind paying more often, especially early on, but I don't want to feel like it's automatically 100% on me.

Is there a good way to spot this kind of mindset early without asking something as awkward as, "Are you looking for a provider?" Are there certain behaviors or conversations that tend to give it away before you get too invested? Looking for solid advice, thanks!

How do you think our shore beaches compare to Long Island beaches? I feel like this one has always been a debate

I feel like Jersey people automatically ride for the Shore, but I’ve heard Long Island people swear their beaches are cleaner, nicer, less chaotic, better sand, all that.

I’m talking overall beach experience: water, sand, crowds, food, boardwalks, parking, vibes, towns nearby, everything.

Are ours actually better or are we just biased because it’s ours?

there has to be some sleeper orders I'm overlooking. what's your go-to that doesn't get enough love? could be a sandwich, grill order, deli combo, breakfast

put me on. i need to retire from ordering the same things every damn time

I remember when "Animals" blew up, it felt like people couldn't wait to write Martin Garrix off. He was the 17 year old big room kid, everyone said he got lucky, his music was "too commercial" and a lot of people acted like he'd disappear once the big room hype died. Remember when mau5 even trolled him during one of his sets?

Instead, he did the complete opposite. He kept improving as a producer, branched out into different styles, started STMPD RCRDS, and is still headlining festivals over a decade later. Even people who don't listen to his music much seem to respect how consistent he's been.

It's kind of crazy looking back at all the criticism he got early on compared to how people talk about him now.

For the people who were around back then, when did your opinion of Garrix change? Or did it never change?