u/Any_Insect8448

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Its a long distance-something. We met online (not a dating app) He approached me. It was September 2025. We met December 2025.

I mean pulling away as less texting, less calling. Sudden change in 1,5 week. I confronted him and he says "just because" and that "you're bragging because I didnt Reach out for 5 or 6 hours" which is not true because he used to text me and call me all day and few days ago we talked around 9 am, he texted that he is doing breakfast and that was it for the whole day. Next day-similar.

Mind you, he used to send me voice messages, ask about my day, pictures from his way off work and stuff.

I ask him if he still cares about me and he says "idk you ask me as we're married or smth" yes we are not in relationship, we met online, met once, slept with each other and kept contact nonstop, slept on the phone, he was calling few times a day etc etc

I pointed out the change in his behaviour and asked if this connection we have is still important to him and he said "yes it is but I'm having bad times lately, I know I'm behaving shitty but I'm not in the mood for any type of relationships". We were not in a relationship and he still talked to me and called me and I never pressured him into relationship so I don't know why he talked about this.

Also he abuses substances and has anger issues sometimes, sometimes he is mean to me and apologizes, often says that he feels like a looser and stuff. I always support him tho.

Also side information. He is /was in contact with his ex, she has the same name and same age as me, they broke up 4 years ago, she "probably" has a boyfriend, but when we started talking on the phone, his phone used to buzz and he was at least honest to tell me she is calling but he does not want to talk to her. When I visited him in December, she called and he told me its her. I was upset and he said he hasn't talked to her in 3 weeks and that she just calls him to ask about dumb things(like borrowing small amounts of money) and that he doesn't want to get back together (she wanted to). She "run away" or "went missing" 2 years ago and he sent her money to go back to her country (after breaking up) and he was "crying in the night because he was worried something happened to her". Also she created new facebook account and he is on her friends list. He is not meeting her because he lives abroad. Suspicious? I wasn't worried about her because he kept constant daily contact with me but now I started thinking if they talk. He told me before that he doesnt want to go back with her, so I doubt that but the fact she has him on FB and he doesnt have me added seems weird. I'm sure they still do talk from time to time at least.

How can I pull back effectively? And when will he notice change? Thank you in advance.

EDIT: I'm going silent for 2 days and then I will directly ask him if there is someone else.

Edit: He texted me 8:00 am if I'm alive because I've been silent haha and that's unusual for me to be silent like that and called after 20 mins after I didnt respond , I pick up and he said that he calls to check if smth happened because I was silent and I said "yeah u were silent too yesterday"

Its a long distance-something. We met online (not a dating app) He approached me. It was September 2025.

I mean pulling away as less texting, less calling. Sudden change in 1,5 week. I confronted him and he says "just because" and that "you're bragging because I didnt reach out for 5 or 6 hours" which is not true because he used to text me and call me all day and few days ago we talked around 9 am, he texted that he is doing breakfast and that was it for the whole day. Next day-similar.

Mind you, he used to send me voice messages, ask about my day, pictures from his way off work and stuff.

I ask him if he still cares about me and he says "idk you ask me as we're married or smth" yes we are not in relationship, we met online, met once, slept with each other and kept contact nonstop, slept on the phone, he was calling few times a day etc etc

I pointed out the change in his behaviour and asked if this connection we have is still important to him and he said "yes it is but I'm having bad times lately, I know I'm behaving shitty but I'm not in the mood for any type of relationships". We were not in a relationship and he still talked to me and called me and I never pressured him into relationship so I don't know why he talked about this.

Also he abuses substances and has anger issues sometimes, sometimes he is mean to me and apologizes, often says that he feels like a looser and stuff. I always support him tho.

He was in hospital and kept nonstop contact, called me and stuff. That was two weeks ago. And since 1,5 week ago, sudden change. Less conversation.

Also side information. He is in contact with his ex(she was calling him from what I know, I don't know how about now) she has the same name and same age as me, they broke up 4 years ago, she "probably" has a boyfriend, but when we started talking on the phone, his phone used to buzz and he was at least honest to tell me she is calling but he does not want to talk to her. When I visited him in December, she called and he told me its her. I was upset and he said he hasn't talked to her in 3 weeks and that she just calls him to ask about dumb things(like borrowing small amounts of money) and that he doesn't want to get back together (she wanted to). She "run away" or "went missing" 2 years ago and he sent her money to go back to her country (after breaking up) and he was "crying in the night because he was worried something happened to her". Also she created new facebook account and he is on her friends list. He is not meeting her because he lives abroad. Suspicious?

How can I pull back effectively? And when will he notice change? Thank you in advance.

EDIT: I'm going silent for 2 days and then I will directly ask him if there is someone else.

Its a long distance-something. We met online (not a dating app) He approached me. It was September 2025.

I mean pulling away as less texting, less calling. Sudden change in 1,5 week. I confronted him and he says "just because" and that "you're bragging because I didnt reach out for 5 or 6 hours" which is not true because he used to text me and call me all day and few days ago we talked around 9 am, he texted that he is doing breakfast and that was it for the whole day. Next day-similar.

Mind you, he used to send me voice messages, ask about my day, pictures from his way off work and stuff.

I ask him if he still cares about me and he says "idk you ask me as we're married or smth" yes we are not in relationship, we met online, met once, slept with each other and kept contact nonstop, slept on the phone, he was calling few times a day etc etc

I pointed out the change in his behaviour and asked if this connection we have is still important to him and he said "yes it is but I'm having bad times lately, I know I'm behaving shitty but I'm not in the mood for any type of relationships". We were not in a relationship and he still talked to me and called me and I never pressured him into relationship so I don't know why he talked about this.

He was in hospital and kept nonstop contact, called me and stuff. That was two weeks ago. And since 1,5 week ago, sudden change. Less conversation.

Also side information. He is in contact with his ex(she was calling him from what I know, I don't know how about now) she has the same name and same age as me, they broke up 4 years ago, she "probably" has a boyfriend, but when we started talking on the phone, his phone used to buzz and he was at least honest to tell me she is calling but he does not want to talk to her. When I visited him in December, she called and he told me its her. I was upset and he said he hasn't talked to her in 3 weeks and that she just calls him to ask about dumb things(like borrowing small amounts of money) and that he doesn't want to get back together (she wanted to). She "run away" or "went missing" 2 years ago and he sent her money to go back to her country (after breaking up) and he was "crying in the night because he was worried something happened to her". Also she created new facebook account and he is on her friends list. He is not meeting her because he lives abroad. Suspicious?

How can I pull back effectively? And when will he notice change? Thank you in advance.

EDIT: I'm going silent for 2 days and then I will directly ask him if there is someone else.

I mean pulling away as less texting, less calling. Sudden change in 1,5 week. I confronted him and he says "just because" and that "you're bragging because I didnt reach out for 5 or 6 hours" which is not true because he used to text me and call me all day and few days ago we talked around 9 am, he texted that he is doing breakfast and that was it for the whole day. Next day-similar.

Mind you, he used to send me voice messages, ask about my day, pictures from his way off work and stuff.

I ask him if he still cares about me and he says "idk you ask me as we're married or smth" yes we are not in relationship, we met online, met once, slept with each other and kept contact nonstop, slept on the phone, he was calling few times a day etc etc

I pointed out the change in his behaviour and asked if this connection we have is still important to him and he said "yes it is but I'm having bad times lately, I know I'm behaving shitty but I'm not in the mood for any type of relationships". We were not in a relationship and he still talked to me and called me and I never pressured him into relationship so I don't know why he talked about this.

He was in hospital and kept nonstop contact, called me and stuff. That was two weeks ago. And since 1,5 week ago, sudden change. Less conversation.

Also side information. He is in contact with his ex, she has the same name and same age as me, they broke up 4 years ago, she "probably" has a boyfriend, but when we started talking on the phone, his phone used to buzz and he was at least honest to tell me she is calling but he does not want to talk to her. When I visited him in December, she called and he told me its her. I was upset and he said he hasn't talked to her in 3 weeks and that she just calls him to ask about dumb things(like borrowing small amounts of money) and that he doesn't want to get back together (she wanted to). She "run away" or "went missing" 2 years ago and he sent her money to go back to her country (after breaking up) and he was "crying in the night because he was worried something happened to her". Also she created new facebook account and he is on her friends list. He is not meeting her because he lives abroad. Suspicious?

How can I pull back effectively? And when will he notice change? Thank you in advance.

EDIT: I'm going silent for 2 days and then I will directly ask him if there is someone else.

TLDR: A guy (36 M) I'm talking to (26F) is pulling away and I don't know what to do

I mean pulling away as less texting, less calling. Sudden change in 1,5 week. I confronted him and he says "just because" and that "you're bragging because I didnt reach out for 5 or 6 hours" which is not true because he used to text me and call me all day and few days ago we talked around 9 am, he texted that he is doing breakfast and that was it for the whole day. Next day-similar.

Mind you, he used to send me voice messages, ask about my day, pictures from his way off work and stuff.

I ask him if he still cares about me and he says "idk you ask me as we're married or smth" yes we are not in relationship, we met online, met once, slept with each other and kept contact nonstop, slept on the phone, he was calling few times a day etc etc

I pointed out the change in his behaviour and asked if this connection we have is still important to him and he said "yes it is but I'm having bad times lately, I know I'm behaving shitty but I'm not in the mood for any type of relationships". We were not in a relationship and he still talked to me and called me and I never pressured him into relationship so I don't know why he talked about this.

He was in hospital and kept nonstop contact, called me and stuff. That was two weeks ago. And since 1,5 week ago, sudden change. Less conversation.

How can I pull back effectively? And when will he notice change? Thank you in advance.

EDIT: I'm going silent for 2 days and then I will directly ask him if there is someone else.

I mean pulling away as less texting, less calling. Sudden change in 1,5 week. I confronted him and he says "just because" and that "you're bragging because I didnt reach out for 5 or 6 hours" which is not true because he used to text me and call me all day and few days ago we talked around 9 am, he texted that he is doing breakfast and that was it for the whole day. Next day-similar.

Mind you, he used to send me voice messages, ask about my day, pictures from his way off work and stuff.

I ask him if he still cares about me and he says "idk you ask me as we're married or smth" yes we are not in relationship, we met online, met once, slept with each other and kept contact nonstop, slept on the phone, he was calling few times a day etc etc

He was in hospital and kept nonstop contact, called me and stuff. That was two weeks ago. And since 1,5 week ago, sudden change. Less conversation.

I pointed out the change in his behaviour and asked if this connection we have is still important to him and he said "yes it is but I'm having bad times lately, I know I'm behaving shitty but I'm not in the mood for any type of relationships". We were not in a relationship and he still talked to me and called me and I never pressured him into relationship so I don't know why he talked about this.

How can I pull back effectively? And when will he notice change? Thank you in advance.

EDIT: I'm going silent for 2 days and then I will directly ask him if there is someone else.

I mean pulling away as less texting, less calling. Sudden change in 1,5 week. I confronted him and he says "just because" and that "you're bragging because I didnt Reach out for 5 or 6 hours" which is not true because he used to text me and call me all day and few days ago we talked around 9 am, he texted that he is doing breakfast and that was it for the whole day. Next day-similar.

Mind you, he used to send me voice messages, ask about my day, pictures from his way off work and stuff.

I ask him if he still cares about me and he says "idk you ask me as we're married or smth" yes we are not in relationship, we met online, met once, slept with each other and kept contact nonstop, slept on the phone, he was calling few times a day etc etc

How can I pull back effectively? And when will he notice change? Thank you in advance.

What's the best tactic? The man I'm talking to was texting and calling nonstop and 1,5 week ago something changed, he stopped initiating conversation, one day we didnt talk for the whole day, second day we barely texted, I asked what's wrong and he tells me nothing, that I'm "bragging because he didnt text me for 5-6 hours" which is not true because he was silent for the whole day. We talked at 9 AM and he was at home and didnt text me. Told me he smoked weed and didnt talk to anyone.

I called him two days ago 30 minutes after he clocked off work (7pm) and he wasn't picking up until 11 pm. Next morning he sends me texts "sorry I wasn't responding goodmorning and have a nice day :)"

When I ask him, he doesnt see nothing wrong that we talk less. I asked if he cares about me and he said "i don't know you ask me as if we're married or smth"

We are in long distance situationship, met once, slept with each other, he used to call me everyday, sometimes he stops for a week and then calls again, we used to sleep on the phone, he was texting me nonstop and stuff.

But for 2 weeks there is a sudden change.

Yesterday, we talked around 6 pm as he was leaving work.(My dumb ass called him) He used to call me after he was doing groceries,some errands..now he doesnt. He was supposed to go to hairdresser and didnt call afterwards.

So today I'm staying silent for the whole day and I won't reach out first. He probably drank yesterday as he does on weekends and I always text him if he is ok or call but this time I won't.

I pointed out the change in his behaviour and asked if this connection we have is still important to him and he said "yes it is but I'm having bad times lately, I know I'm behaving shitty but I'm not in the mood for any type of relationships". We were not in a relationship and he still talked to me and called me and I never pressured him into relationship so I don't know why he talked about this.

Can you please give me a plan what should I do to make him notice my absence? He takes my presence for granted. I need psychology manipulation tactics. Also I'm a kind, caring girl so maybe changing my behaviour? Also no calling him anymore until he does. I know. Thank you!

EDIT: I'm going silent for 2 days and then I will directly ask him if there is someone else.