u/BrightSpring12

Women consistently reinforce that attraction is Amoral. Yet continue to moralize unsuccessful Mens inability to be selected. Depending on Narrative and

In These discussions, I though this was something we universally agreed upon, Yet in these past posts i have seen

Women constantly tell men that attraction is amoral. You can't negotiate desire. You can't guilt someone into being attracted to you. Nobody is owed sex, dates, relationships, or romantic interest. Fine. If attraction is amoral, then a man's inability to get selected is also amoral.

Its not because hes, Not paying for dates, hates women, his comments on reddit, ect ect.

its just that hes short and/or unnattractive. thats it. But for some reasons this notions switches from debate to debate.

A man can be kind, respectful, employed, emotionally stable, and still fail to generate attraction. Women say this all the time when rejecting men "He's a great guy, I'm just not feeling it."

If attraction is genuinely amoral, then being unselected is not evidence of being a bad person. It's simply evidence that you weren't chosen.

What's interesting is that this moralization only seems to happen with unselected men. The men women actually select, date, sleep with, and complain about afterward are often given far more benefit of the doubt despite their actual behavior.

So which is it?

Is attraction amoral, or is romantic unsuccess a by product of moral self inflicted issues?

Because women seem to argue the first when defending their own choices and the second when explaining why certain men aren't chosen.

Okay so i recently just finished my first year of university. Before that, i never really had any male attention at all honestly, i had only had my first kiss on my graduation trip in june and no guys ever liked me (to my knowledge) before that. I know that male validation is worthless but you know it kinda hurts as a girl to receive zero attention from guys at all as a teenager when all your friends have been in multiple relationships already. Fast forward to university, things definitely changed. Suddenly guys are interested in me (only for sex though). Starting university i insisted on not wanting a boyfriend because i am pretty avoidant and know im not in the mental state to be a good girlfriend but i was totally down for casual hookups. Didn’t do anything until november of last year where i met this guy i hooked up with a few times, we actually had sex in january though where i lost my virginity. He ghosted after which i was alright with since i wasn’t really into him anymore and then flash forward to now ive had sex with 6 guys already from the months of january to april/may. I can’t help but feel a little disgusted with myself and i feel like underneath it all i may be using sex to cope with the fact that i still feel pretty insecure about myself and my body and in general just struggle pretty badly with my mental health (i have bipolar 2 so the hypomania might play a part). Two of these hookups have been horrible decisions, one was with a guy my friend was into and i felt absolutely disgusting and horrible after, and the other was with a random guy in a club bathroom without protection which i was really scared about after. Two of these guys ghosted me, and the other two i just never talked to again. In a way i feel like at this point i don’t deserve a boyfriend and just feel really disgusted with my actions. (insert dairy queen dinner with a plan b after club guy…)

Cbnhf

His male looksmatch would be swiped left so fast

https://youtu.be/dgq2P9GC_Xg

Video link of this restard.

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Hypergamy

Women's behavior in online dating is particularly useful for revealing their preference for dating up and against dating down: One study showed female users 'like' male user profiles with a higher education status than their own twice as often when compared to a profile with equal education status, and they like user profiles with lower status only half as often.[21] The IFS found women are twice as likely to marry up in income when they marry down in education.[22] In the Swedish top 1% income bracket, 70% of men, but only 30% of women, are partnered with someone in the bottom 90% bracket.[23] Job promotion increases the likelihood of a relationship breakup more in women than in men.[24]

"men who admit to behavior that legally meets the definition of rape tend to be more popular, have higher status, and have more consensual sex partners...popular, high-status, 'macho' men, not mate-deprived men, are most likely to rape."

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41609601/

Homemade pizza with my family

Long story short (probably still long), was coming up on my girlfriend and I's 4 year anniversary. We were very close and very in love the first 3 years. She went out of state for college while i stayed in state, so eventually the distance started getting difficult. The 4th year the distance was really hard, i could feel a distance growing between us. However, towards the end of my junior year of college, i looked into transferring to her school and just pitched the idea and she seemed absolutely ecstatic about it. Things seemed really good. We planned for me to fly out to her school over our birthdays for a week to see the campus and just hang out with each other.

When i went out there, we had the greatest week we had had together in a while. Just us two exploring her city, going to nice restaurants, movies, shopping, partying a bit. However on the second to last day, one of her friends that had hung around us a bit through the week found me while my gf was at one of her classes and told me that my girlfriend had been cheating on me. I didn't believe her and thought it was some awful joke, but she showed me screenshots, pictures, and even a damn video. I felt like i was in shock.

I had just paid $500+ on plane tickets, easily another $500+ just on food and clothes and other shit for her that week, she was talking about me moving out there with her the entire week and seemed so fucking giddy about everything. what the hell. I just can't wrap my head around it i guess.

I confronted my gf about it, but i didn't tell her that her friend had told and showed me. She denied denied denied while she bawled her eyes out. The last thing i said to her as i was leaving was i just wanted to hear the truth and she couldn't even spit it out then.

I'd never felt so disrespected and used before. I went through 2 years of long distance, was figuring out how to transfer to her school and move out there with her, committed everything for our relationship, and even after she fucked around, she couldn't even admit it. I don't know if she knows that i know what i know. I never told her that her friend told me. We haven't talked in a while, but her dad and mom sometimes reach out and say the miss me lmao.

I don't know why, but i never told my family what actually happened. I just told them we mutually agreed the distance was too hard. The plane ride home from that trip, i could hear like static in my ears and my face felt numb the entire time, constantly holding back tears as the dude next to me was trying to spark up a conversation.

That's the main bulk of the details👍