u/CyberBerserk

Behind-the-scenes process of using a Print Gocco to silkscreen 228 stickers.

I'm 16. Lately, I've realized I've been thinking about taking off my hijab a lot. I've been wearing it since 5th grade and am now finishing 9th.

Today I saw my mother in her youth; she was so beautiful in school, wearing makeup and tank tops, and I realized I want to do the same. But I know my father won't accept me without it. Unlike my mother, I live very well off, in a three-story house, we travel to different countries year-round, and they buy me everything I want. I don't want to spend my entire youth wearing the hijab; I love and respect my religion, but I still want to take it off.

I don't know what to do; I don't want this to continue.I'm afraid to tell anyone

Update

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I feel at least a little better now. I will reply to everyone tomorrow because I simply can’t keep up with reading and answering everything right now. My English is not very good, so I constantly have to use a translator. Over the past six months, my iman (faith) has become very weak, and my belief has gradually started to fade. I spent a lot of time in different religious communities online, defending my religion. People there would often tell me things like, “All religions were created to control people,” or “Islam was invented for the benefit of men.” Even my history teacher at school used to say similar things, such as, “The hijab was invented by Arabs for the desert so sand wouldn’t get into their eyes.” I would pretend to agree just to get a good grade. After a while, I started wondering why so many people seem to dislike and hate Islam. I began listening to anti-Islam podcasts to understand their point of view, but it gradually became an obsession. Without really realizing it, my mind started accepting those podcasts and videos as the truth. I began to resent Islam and started believing that religion was indeed invented by Arabs to control people and conquer lands. I tried to push these thoughts away, but they only became stronger, so I buried them deep inside myself. I don’t know how to get rid of them. I’m sorry if this is difficult to read or understand. I’m writing my thoughts as they come to me and pouring out my heart.