I don't want to go into details. But I believe she gained what she needed from me. It sucks cause I really liked her. The friendship wasn't all bad but shes a very manipulative person . Sometimes I really miss her and other times thinking about her makes me very angry as ive figured her out .
Its just so dumb, thats when you knowthat theyre in denial.. theyre always end up being the worst parents too . I was one of those kids growjng up. I can't stand delusional parents .. like get a hobby and dont have kids , not even accidentally.
Like people who are genuinely very loving, empathetic or understanding.
Good people get backstabbed all the time and remain good people. I dont mean performative good people. And why do bad people who have everything get jealous of good people very easily?
I recently got freaked out of a friendship that was almost a poly relationship.. she was soon to be married and she had a young child and I was involved when their child was born. My friend wanted me and her partner to get to know each other but she ruined it I believe. Im a lesbian and I only like women , I believe this was very understood. I wasn't trying to be judgemental of her family life , but I believe that her and her partner was in a very fast settle down transactional relationship.
Reasons why I got freaked out:
Her kids questioning where my partner is whilst they have a father and my friend is the wife
I wasn't fond of her partner
His family (inlaws) hates her
She was too honest about her partner negatively (not judging, it was a possible cuck fetish)
Whatever was going on between us wasn't very clear and there was a hidden plan that I didn't know about
For my safety I was observing how I could have a part in her life without being connected too much with her family. I cared about her kids though .
Cause I didn't trust there was a fair balance I backed out , though I loved my friend dearly ..
Im introverted. But for the last ten years ive realised theres a pattern with my social life. I know a lot of random people from different places and of all backgrounds . I feel guilty when I see someone i know but want to hide even if the experience was positive. I also dont know how to introduce friends or tell people how I met people . I have too much of a complicated life and think being rogue isn't normal anymore . Im also an outsider in town and I grew up with abuse so I ran away .
This is a genuine question.
A lot of women experience sexual shame generally.
Sexual paranoia is a very real thing too.
Ive slept with 2 very different women sexually . One was hyper sexual and my ex was very sexually insecure and used to blame me for it. Im dominant but honestly I like to switch.
I thought i was sexually confident until my persecption of relationships had changed . My opinion even the lgbtq community is very shallow when it comes to sex . I would say that im naturally romantic.. I haven't been with anyone for 2 years. I had a crush who liked me also and I would talk openly about relationships with her , but not about sex from my personal experiences.
Im sensitive . I always think about i want a woman to feel good if I got with her . And overthijnk about the society standards of sex .. generally not nice for all women .
My crush , who I dont talk to now was always sexually hinting flirt, she knew I was the sensitive type, I liked the idea of having sex with her but I was very expressive in other ways . I think some of it is being intimidated by my love interest , as I should be .
I think its also a bit off putting when some people are sexually forward. I don't know how to take sexual and flirty behaviour from most women to be fair..
I think im also just burnt out from the expectations of dating life ..
Give me your songs .
Just for fun , nothing serious.
It depends on the friend i think .
I like bands like sevendust, mudvayne, hed pe, mushroomhead. So guitars and amps for good rhythms and good squeals and effects peddles
I had a nervous breakdown at her house but I was trying to keep it together . It was over a drama that I wasn't involved in but she was trying to get backup from her friends . I was her very close friend and I think she used me . The friendship was genuine . But she had a immature side that was very manipulative. She Always wanted me to do things I didn't want to be involved in even if it was wholesome.. she never had a serious talk with me just expected cause we were friends .. she had no boundaries..
I didn't want to react but Im glad I did.. i dont know if it was trauma related but something just switched in me.
I dont know if its have a personality disorder but i know i have chronic depression. Ive generally grown up living in my own head and observing the world. Ive never fitted in and I also have autism.. ive processed life through my very personal lense and ive been right about a lot of things . Suffering from trauma has made me a social outcast , but ive grown up realising that nobody is perfect .. ive been taught to hate myself and ive reflected that throughout life . As ive got older and watching people younger than me adapt to the world or people accept me a bit more makes me feel ive been judging people a bit too much.. I mean coming from abuse ans attracting the wrong kind of people have made me feel this way . I do take a shine to a few people but I also been avoidant and hesitant cause of the way life has treated me .. im not a completely negative person, when im confident im very positive, but when i feel put down im negative.
I mean she is socially adaptative. I dont think she recognises that we clash a lot . Ive known her for a while and She thinks im always available . We're in our late 20s early 30s .. she doesn't really do much or has interests in my life, infact knows nothing about me , she just thinks she does .. without sounding rude due to my life problems and mental health issues I met her at a class ans we got stuck ever since and shes not changed . For one she still complains about people she knew In high-school , whilst I would complain about people in my daily life . Shes not experienced things that I have and when I tell her about an issue she makes jokes about my problems whether its me going through relationship problems or a loved one dying .. ive ignored this person for 2 weeks ans shes not really noticed and she still sends me reels constantly. she doesn't work and she has no responsibilities . Im lately annoyed cause I had a fallen out with another friend that was more like a romantic interest, my other friend doesn't understand that im going through serious emotions and she ridicules me . She doesn't work , she doesn't date, she lives freely with parents and complains a lot . Shes been unemployed for 5 years . I notice she does wind other people up including her family and she doesn't understand that she can be the problem, simply by being childish. I hate that im just tolerating her and i need to move on but im finding it hard.
I think i got myself stuck with her cause of my vulnerability and I tend to just make friends by people pleasing and tolerating .. ive got more confident to try to meet like minded people . Its not that I dislike these people but I think sometimes we get too comfortable.
This friend also had a pet die and she was very upset by it and I validated her emotions . I mean I would get upset when my pets die. But she acts like that should stop her from living daily life .. she made jokes at me when my dad died
I think she think shes struggling in life but shes living very easy. I have a traumatic life so I have to be resilient and build .. some people like her dont try or dont understand what they have .. I get that people understand what struggle is ans we all struggle differently . She thinks that she can ask me for help all the time or complain to me all the time especially about immature things like her parents want her to get a job.
Its weird cause ive been obsessed with my love interests in the past . Like even after a fall out I used to be like "shes gonna come back to me, it just takes time" . I used to be so delusional.
I told the last person I really liked that I had to leave cause it wasn't working out . She had other things going on in her life . It hurts but I care about her THAT much . Yeah I still overthink but ive learnt to accept it.
I think connections are either very deep or very shallow.
Ive done it myself when I was younger and it didn't end well. I had a friend that was older than me by like 10 years and I felt that she was holding me back . I contacted back to apologise about and she wasn't nice to me .. I was in my early 20s at the time, so I thought it was appropriate to go find friends my own age ...
Friends that do me wrong legit go silent and I have no desire to reach out to them. Silence is their guilt I believe.
Im not so big on Deftones
Edit: Im suprised that no-one has mentioned Slipknot, though I dont hate them. I dont think they're the best band in the world ans they do get a lot of hate
I almost burst into tears at work . Ive gone through a lot over the years and I keep to myself generally. Ive got no one to talk to about my issues . I feel like everything is unfair and I feel like im in a lot of pain.. like I feel like people have hurt me very emotionally and they dont care that they did .
Im an introvert but I have a broad range of interests. Im in my 30s and im a woman .. im always out of my comfort zone. None of my friends want to do the things I want to do but im always up for the other way round . Ive also made "friends" that undermine me to keep me around in there life . Or ive spent way too much time people pleasing. I like my own company but at times im very bored like I need a social buddy thats at my level
6 months ive stopped talking to her .. shes done some harm to me when I was there for her and pretty much disregarded it . I cant stand her anymore, she approached me at my lowest and made it fucking worse .
Im not asexual or aromantic . I love my independence . I am a giver. But I love my own space