u/Eldenringop

Full honesty, I am someone who has said stuff like this all the time and used it as cope. The fact is, no one really thinks that you need to be a 10/10 looking guy with a perfect body and a 6 figures salary to get a girlfriend. And the hypergamy shit is not a real thing the way people talk about. A lot of time its just normal college stuff with a hot guy who sleeps around a lot sleeping with some average girls as well and they use that as an excuse. And when they talk about girls who say they want chad or whatever, it's a little hypocritical since a lot of those same guys are thirsting over top 10% of women while they are average or below average looking. A lot of this stuff is because these guys don't actually give a shit about a relationship and have never really talked to a girl to have any reason to care about a woman beyond her body, so they really just want to sleep around and fuck a bunch of girls, but don't have the confidence/resources/looks to do that stuff. And when they would actually have to do the stuff that one does in a relationship, they don't care. They treat it like a job, and the sex as a paycheck they are working for. (assuming they have even been in a relationship)

And the number one reason behind all of this, is just that a lot of guys are scared to ask people out, which is fair. Theres a lot of risk, theres a lot to loose, and theres reasons to be scared and not want to do it. Personally, I could never ask someone out because the idea of loving someone who doesn't love me at all is awful. And this is the reason you really only see this in men. Is because the underlying issue is a fear of approaching/lack of confidence, which is something that women don't have to have since they are (generally) the ones getting approached. If women had to approach as much as men did and the oness was on them, all these things that guys say would be said by the women.

In a perfect world this wouldn't happen because women approached guys like guys approach women, and when people do get asked out they are nice to them in responce, and just say no. And yes, I know that some guys don't stop and are crazy, but i got friends that have been rejected in awful ways (Snapchat stories, mocked by all her friends, ostricized and laughed at over it) and they are just normal duded who were kind when they approached. Honestly, I don't think theres anything that can fix this, but if yall got ideas feel free to drop em down below.

My husband has the potential to get a high end job with a life changing salary that would solved our money worries. The issue is it would mean working away Mon-Fri.  I haven’t been able to work for the last year due to stress and grief. Hes said if he takes the job the burden and uncomfort sits with him.  He said whilst he knows its not true the worst part of his brain thinks I want him to take the job so I can just not work, even though I manage the home, our lives, do childcare, pet care, he made me feel like a brat for suggesting we cd make it work. AITA for suggesting we cd make this work? I know he doesn’t want to be an absent parent to our son but we are in crippling debt and I honestly think if the tables were turned Id do it in a heartbeat.