Hey y'all! I’m thrilled to announce that I’m reviving the Anders for Congress campaign for 2026 as a true independent campaign now backed by the Green Party, Libertarians, and Forward Party.

Thanks to Republican gerrymandering, I’m back on the ballot, this time running outside the corrupt two-party duopoly. The "experts" will tell you this is impossible due to it being a rural deep red district. They want us to accept the usual garbage choice: a far-right incumbent who’s been rotting in Washington for decades, or another corporate Democrat that's failed over and over.

I reject that false choice. The two-party system has failed Tennessee over and over and over again. This campaign is an insurgency against the extremists, the gatekeepers, the corporate donors, and the endless partisan theater. Tennessee, and America, deserves representatives who aren’t bought and paid for.

This started as a protest run after Trump declared war on Iran earlier this year. I never expected the massive grassroots support. I never expected the Tennessee Democratic Party to remove me from the ballot based on archaic rules. I never imagined I'd have to run Independent after I bled for the Democratic party across this great nation.

This is the platform I'm running on:

Mental Healthcare & Medicare for All: Treat the root causes of crisis, upgrade Obamacare, and cut the parasitic insurance companies out of the equation. Healthcare is a right not a commodity.

Freedom First: Unapologetic defender of the 1st and 2nd Amendments. I’ve defeated crooked cops in court multiple times and I’ll fight for civil liberties everywhere.

The $300K Tax Cut: No federal income tax on the first $300,000 of earnings. Working people and homeowners get to keep their money instead of feeding federal bloat and billionaire subsidies. We shift the tax burden back to the rich and corporations.

End the Forever Wars: No more billions for foreign conflicts while our roads crumble, hospitals close, and veterans are abandoned. Invest in America.

21st Century Infrastructure: High-speed rural internet and road expansion so we’re not getting lapped by Europe and China.

Expand the House: Repeal the Permanent Apportionment Act of 1929. Make every member of Congress represent fewer people so they’re actually accountable: restoring the Founders’ vision of the People’s House.

They’ve thrown everything at me to shut this down: intimidation, false arrest for simple doorknocking, Facebook shadowbans after anti-AIPAC endorsements, and every dirty trick in the book.

I was taught from a very young age that you have to fight. If you don’t fight then you’re losing.

This is about chipping away at the status quo until it crumbles. It’s about sending a real independent progressive voice to Washington. One that actually represents normal people. Humanity First.

They scream "America First" but deliver nothing for us. We’re going to fight for our future, fight for our wallets, and fight for a government that works for the many, not the 1%.

I am proud to endorse Graham Platner for U.S. Senate in Maine.

Graham is a combat veteran and straight-talking working-class fighter who has had enough of the oligarchy screwing over everyday Americans. As a Marine who served in the forever wars and then came home to build a life on the water in coastal Maine, he brings real grit, authenticity, and a deep understanding of what working families are up against.

He knows the challenges facing Mainers and Americans everywhere: universal healthcare as a right, not a luxury, affordable housing and good-paying jobs that actually let people live with dignity, protecting veterans and ending the cycle of endless wars that waste lives and trillions of dollars, and making sure corporate interests and the billionaire class don’t keep calling the shots in Washington.

What stands out most about Graham is that he’s too pissed off to be bought off. He refuses corporate PAC money and the influence of the same old establishment machine. Like me, he’s running a people-first campaign grounded in economic justice, bringing troops home, and building a country that works for the 99%, not the 1%. He’s a bold progressive populist who tells the truth about how the system is rigged and has the courage to fight to change it.

Maine Democrats and independents: On June 9th, support Graham Platner in the primary and help send a real fighter to the Senate. It’s time to replace career politicians with someone who actually gets it!

Washington, D.C. — May 20, 2026

By Elena Vargas

In a move that has sent political analysts scrambling and social media into a frenzy, Chad "Dickie" Fightmaster, the silver-haired entrepreneur, philanthropist, and former international heartthrob, officially announced his candidacy for President of the United States today.

Standing before a packed crowd at the historic Willard InterContinental hotel, the 69-year-old Fightmaster, looking every bit the statesman in a tailored navy suit, flashed the same disarming smile that once earned him the title of "World's Most Handsome Man" in a 2019 global online poll conducted by People magazine and Elle International.

"I’m not running because I’m the most handsome man in the room," Fightmaster told supporters, drawing laughter and cheers. "I’m running because this country deserves leadership that works good, thinks clearly, and fights hard for every American. It’s time to bring competence, confidence, and yes even a little charm, back to the White House! Our allies don't respect us anymore!"

The announcement comes after months of speculation following Fightmaster’s high-profile departure from his role as CEO of Fightmaster Dynamics, a diversified holding company with interests in renewable energy, luxury hospitality, and AI-driven logistics. The self-made billionaire built his fortune after transitioning from a brief but memorable acting career in the early 2000s, where he starred in several romantic comedies before pivoting to business.

A Life in the Spotlight

Born in Austin, Texas, Fightmaster first captured national attention in 2019 when a fan-submitted photo went viral, leading to his landslide victory in the "World’s Most Handsome Man" contest. The win brought endorsements, modeling contracts, and a memoir titled Fight the Good Fight, which spent 14 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list.

Despite his celebrity status, Fightmaster has maintained a relatively low political profile until now. He has described himself as a "pragmatic independent" who supports strong national defense, fiscal responsibility, expanded vocational training, and what he calls "common-sense environmental stewardship that doesn’t punish working families."

Political insiders note that Fightmaster’s unconventional background could appeal to voters fatigued by traditional politicians. Early polling conducted by a consortium of independent firms showed him with surprising name recognition, largely attributed to his 2019 title and frequent appearances on morning shows, and favorable ratings among independent voters and suburban women.

"I’ve spent my life fighting for excellence in everything I do, in business, in my community, and in my family," Fightmaster said, gesturing toward his wife, Dr. Elena Moreau-Fightmaster, a renowned pediatric oncologist, and their three adult children seated in the front row. "Now I’m ready to fight for America."

Reactions Pour In

The announcement drew swift responses across the political spectrum.

Republican strategist Marcus Hale called it "the most photogenic candidacy in modern history," while Democratic consultant Lila Chen quipped, "Voters want substance, not just vibes." Several third-party groups have already signaled interest in potential alignment.

Fightmaster has not yet filed formal paperwork with the Federal Election Commission, but sources close to the campaign say he plans to run as an independent and will focus his early efforts on key battleground states including Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, and his home state of Texas.

When asked about potential challenges, including skepticism about a political newcomer with a nickname like "Dickie", Fightmaster laughed it off.

"Call me whatever you want," he said. "Just call me Mr. President on January 20th, 2029."

As the 2028 election cycle heats up earlier than ever, one thing is clear: Chad "Dickie" Fightmaster has entered the arena, and he’s impossible to ignore.

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I am proud to endorse Matt Dodson for Senate.

Matt is a bold, principled fighter and a Democratic Socialist who has consistently stood up for working New Mexicans. As a USAF veteran, community organizer, small business owner, and someone who has knocked on thousands of doors in conservative areas, Matt brings real-world experience, integrity, and a deep commitment to lifting up every corner of the state.

He understands the real challenges facing New Mexico families: universal healthcare, affordable housing, good-paying jobs, affordable education, and making sure working people aren’t left behind by corporate interests. Matt has the vision and courage to deliver real progress instead of the same old establishment politics. In these times, we need a Senator who isn’t afraid to speak truth to power and who refuses corporate PAC and AIPAC money.

What stands out most about Matt Dodson is his authenticity and unwavering dedication to building a nation that works for the 99%, not the 1%. Like me, he is too pissed off to be bought off, and has proven he will fight hard for economic justice, veterans, working families, and a brighter future for our children and communities.

New Mexicans, I urge you to support Matt Dodson in the June 2nd Democratic primary. Let’s bring fresh, courageous, and people-first leadership to Washington!

Davenport, Iowa - Authorities confirmed today that a 16-year-old boy was killed in what experts are calling the first documented shark attack in Iowa history, an extraordinary event that occurred yesterday along a popular swimming spot on the Mississippi River.

The victim, identified as Michael Harlan of Bettendorf, was swimming with friends near Credit Island on the afternoon of July 12 when he suddenly screamed and disappeared beneath the surface. Witnesses described seeing a large gray fin slice through the murky water moments before the attack. Two companions pulled Harlan to shore, but he had suffered massive trauma to his left leg and lower torso. He was pronounced dead at Mercy Hospital shortly after arrival.

"This is something none of us ever expected to see this far north," said Dr. Raymond Kessler, a marine biologist from the University of Iowa who was called in to examine tissue samples and tooth fragments recovered from the scene. "Preliminary analysis points to a bull shark, a species known for its ability to tolerate freshwater. We believe this animal may have traveled hundreds of miles upstream from the Gulf of Mexico, possibly following unusually high water levels this spring."

Iowa Department of Natural Resources officials noted that the Mississippi River has been running at near-record levels due to heavy rainfall across the Midwest. While shark sightings this far inland are extremely rare, they are not without precedent. Bull sharks have been documented as far north as Illinois in the past, though none had previously been linked to a fatal attack in the upper Midwest.

Local residents expressed shock at the news. "We swim here every summer. It's always been safe," said neighbor Patricia Donnelly, whose son was one of the boys with Harlan. "Now people are talking about putting up warning signs or even closing stretches of the river."

State officials have deployed teams to monitor the river and are advising the public to avoid swimming in the Mississippi until further notice. A helicopter search was conducted this morning, but the shark has not been located.

The incident comes during America's Bicentennial celebrations, adding a strange footnote to what had been a summer of community gatherings and riverfront events. Funeral services for Michael Harlan are scheduled for Thursday at St. John's Catholic Church in Bettendorf.

Experts emphasize that while this attack is tragic and highly unusual, the risk remains extremely low. "The odds of this happening again are astronomically small," Dr. Kessler added. "But the river is a powerful ecosystem, and we should always treat it with respect."

The Onion News Network 1976 (C)

Washington, D.C. — President Donald Trump erupted in a lengthy and highly unusual Truth Social rant on Monday, lashing out at 2028 Democratic presidential candidate Jacob Anders while vehemently denying rumors about his sexuality and accusing the comedian-turned-politician of trying to “steal” his daughter Ivanka.

The tirade appears to have been triggered by a series of memes posted by Anders on social media, following the release of photos showing Ivanka Trump having dinner with the Anders. In the memes, Anders jokingly suggested Trump “unironically loves the Village People’s YMCA,” is obsessed with Diet Coke, and described the president as a “sassy and catty man.”

Trump responded with a barrage of posts that quickly went viral:

“Jacob Anders is a pathetic lowlife and a failed comedian who’s now spreading FAKE NEWS that I’m somehow gay! I’m not gay, I never have been gay, and everyone who knows me knows it. I love women, beautiful women, and I have the best family in the world. This guy is a total joke!"

Trump continued, "Crazy Jakey thinks he's a daughter stealer. That’s right folks he's trying to steal my beautiful daughter Ivanka with his little dinners. DISGUSTING!" Trump also tweeted, "Anders is a radical left clown who drinks soy lattes. I heard he works for Bernie too! Pathetic! No one can beat me on policy so they make up lies about my manhood and my daughter. Sad!”

Trump’s posts, which included multiple all-caps rants and repeated denials of being gay, were widely shared and sparked immediate backlash and mockery across social media.

Escalating Feud

The outburst marks a sharp escalation in the feud that began after photos surfaced of Ivanka Trump and Jacob Anders dining together at Fiola Mare. While Trump previously focused his attacks on Anders and defended Ivanka as “loyal,” Monday’s posts took a more personal and chaotic turn.

A Trump advisor, speaking anonymously, said the president was “furious” about Anders’ memes and viewed them as a direct attack on his masculinity and family. “President Trump doesn’t let personal insults slide, especially cheap shots like that,” the advisor said. “He sees Anders as a fool who’s trying to use Ivanka for publicity while smearing him.”

Anders Responds

Jacob Anders’ campaign responded with a light-hearted but pointed statement: “Jacob Anders posted satirical memes in response to the president’s unprovoked attacks. He meant no harm and wishes Mr. Trump well with his Diet Coke and musical tastes.”

Anders also retweeted several of the memes with laughing emojis, further fueling the online firestorm.

Political Reactions

The episode has left many Republicans cringing. One senior GOP strategist called it “off-message and unhelpful” this far out from the 2028 election.

“Trump is at his best when he’s focused on the border, the economy, and beating Democrats,” the strategist said. “Rants about YMCA and denying gay rumors make it harder for down-ballot candidates to win in 2026.”

Democrats, however, were quick to capitalize. Several party operatives described the rant as “self-own gold,” predicting it would dominate late-night comedy shows and fuel viral clips for weeks.

As of Monday evening, the hashtag #DaughterStealer was trending on socials, and clips of Trump’s past appearances with the Village People song playing in the background were circulating widely.

Ivanka Trump, who has been photographed not wearing a wedding ring, has remained silent on the latest developments. The president has not issued any further statements since his evening posting spree.

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Palm Beach, FL — In the latest explosive chapter of the Trump political family saga, President Donald J. Trump has gone nuclear, publicly demanding that his daughter Ivanka Trump immediately end her alleged romantic affair and return to her husband Jared Kushner.

Despite repeated denials from both Ivanka and 2028 Democratic hopeful Jacob Anders that they are romantically involved, Trump remains convinced the relationship, affectionately dubbed "Javonka" by the internet, is real and represents nothing less than a personal and political betrayal of historic proportions.

The tirade began in the early morning hours and stretched well into the afternoon, producing what some are calling Trump’s longest continuous social media rant since the 2024 election cycle.

Trump’s first post hit Truth Social at 3:12 AM:

"My beautiful brilliant daughter Ivanka is being totally brainwashed by this low-energy no-good communist failed comedian lil Jakey they're calling him. Can you believe it? This is theft folks, folks. THEFT! Ivanka, if you're reading this, I demand that you break up with your idiot boyfriend NOW! Jared is a good man. Fantastic son-in-law. We made tremendous deals together in the Middle East. Come back to your husband and your family where you BELONG! You are disappointing your FATHER!!!"

He followed up just nine minutes later:

“Jacob Anders is a lightweight like you’ve never seen before. The guy used to write books for a living! Now he thinks he can date my daughter? She’s way out of his league. Tremendous league. Many people are saying he’s not even her type. Ivanka likes winners, not some DUMMYCRAT who probably votes for windmills. Everyone knows the windmills are killing our birds! Taking our good air and sending it to China! Lil Jakey wants to give everyone $1000 a month because he's a Communist Santa Claus who has to buy votes.”

By 4:47 a.m., Trump had posted multiple times, including this viral message:

"This is worse than Crooked Hillary. Worse than Sleepy Joe. Worse than the rigged election. My favorite daughter, she is my favorite, anyone who knows me knows it, she's being paraded around with this radical left lunatic Jacob. Javonka? What a stupid name. Sounds like a cheap Italian restaurant. I built Ivanka into a superstar and now this guy wants to ride her coattails? Not gonna happen. CALL JARED! COME HOME! We love Jared. Great guy. Very smart on Israel. We made the best peace deals."

Trump continued:

"Look lil Jakey if you’re listening which you probably are because you’re obsessed with me, stay away from my daughter. You’re not good enough. You’re not tall enough. You’re not rich enough. You’ve never built a wall, never made a great deal, never done anything tremendous in your life. Ivanka deserves the best and that’s not you okay? I wouldn’t let lil Jakey date my daughter even if he got down on one knee and begged with tears in his eyes. Not happening! Thank you!"

Denials Pour In

Ivanka Trump broke her silence with a carefully worded statement: "Jacob and I are not dating. We have had a few productive conversations about women's rights, innovation, and the future of the country. These rumors are untrue and I ask for privacy for my family during this time."

Jacob Anders addressed the controversy during a live stream from a Nashville coffee shop, looking relaxed and slightly amused: "Dementia Don needs to mind his own business. Ivanka and I are just friends. There is nothing to break up, and even if there was it's not anyone's business. Touch grass, Donald."

Political Fallout and Internet Explosion

Political analysts say the drama is oddly helping Anders with suburban women and independents while energizing Trump’s MAGA base to demand he protect his family from socialists.

One anonymous Mar-a-Lago source told reporters: "Donald's genuinely upset. He keeps muttering 'my poor Ivanka' during press meetings."

Despite the denials, Trump is not backing off. In a Fox News interview this morning he doubled down: "She’s still married to Jared in my book. We love Jared. He’s family. This little Jakey guy, he's a total lightweight. No one likes him, so he has to ride the coattails of more accomplished people. He's a failed author in my opinion. Have you read his books? I haven't! And I read books, lots of books every day."

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