u/Lemonade2250

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I always feel like I've been living my life behind a curtain. I always keep resisting to ask for help or even talk to others because for so many years I've attached my identity with success. Like when I don't have my life together it makes me feel like some insecure person. It's so difficult to even explain but I've been avoiding phone calls and social gatherings. Even I have lied so much just for the sake of people not judging me. Because I know if I tell my truth or how I feel they will ultimately think I'm weak or something is wrong. But I guess even this negative feelings are mainly coming due to the fact I'm not facing reality. I'm not build resilency life requires and things like hard work and effort. I let past failures and crisirsm of others bring me down.

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I wish I was strong and for so many years I've just been feeling lost in myself. I don't know what are my wants and needs. What are my desires and hopes. What keeps me going like momentum. It's like I've been stuck somewhere in the past and unable to move forward as of my soul just wants to accomplish or overcome the obstacles of the past. No matter how much I seem to avoid this feeling and suppressing I just feel like my soul or mann is unable to move forward.

About few years ago, I've told myself I'll get a college degree, get a job and even learn driving however I never been able to accomplish this goals. My mother who had so much hopes and trust in me suddenly passed away and I never made her proud when she was alive.

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I wish I was strong and for so many years I've just been feeling lost in myself. I don't know what are my wants and needs. What are my desires and hopes. What keeps me going like momentum. It's like I've been stuck somewhere in the past and unable to move forward as of my soul just wants to accomplish or overcome the obstacles of the past. No matter how much I seem to avoid this feeling and suppressing I just feel like my soul or mann is unable to move forward.

About few years ago, I've told myself I'll get a college degree, get a job and even learn driving however I never been able to accomplish this goals. My mother who had so much hopes and trust in me suddenly passed away and I never made her proud when she was alive.

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I wish I was strong and for so many years I've just been feeling lost in myself. I don't know what are my wants and needs. What are my desires and hopes. What keeps me going like momentum. It's like I've been stuck somewhere in the past and unable to move forward as of my soul just wants to accomplish or overcome the obstacles of the past. No matter how much I seem to avoid this feeling and suppressing I just feel like my soul or mann is unable to move forward.

About few years ago, I've told myself I'll get a college degree, get a job and even learn driving however I never been able to accomplish this goals. My mother who had so much hopes and trust in me suddenly passed away and I never made her proud when she was alive.

I sit at home all day doing nothing with my life. I'm starting to feel like I have low self esteem and confidence issues. I've been avoiding phone calls and social interactions. Mainly because I don't have nothing going on with my life. It's like yes I do want to attend college and also work a job on the side and work on my fears like learning to drive and simply making friends but here I am just ruminating and feeling as if it's too late to do anything. I also feel very dumb slow and unsure. I don't understand why do I not believe in myself and actually put effort into researching and understanding everything. It's like I feel like I'm living under a rock despite having a smartphone on my hand.

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I always noticed this in high school and young adults how certain music affects someone behavior. Like they start talking like them and way of dressing changes. It feels like music has a big impact on personality. I just mostly seen this when people hear a lot of rap and hip hop.

I've come to a realization that life literally requires effort and hard work. It requires multiple trails and failures to reach success. There is just no path to success overnight. And maybe those who find out early are just lucky or blessed. But I realized whatever desires and hopes I have like most people do such as good paying job or social circle. It requires effort and hard work. And I don't understand why am I not putting effort anything.

I need help, I really feel overwhelmed by life lately in fact for many years now because I just feel like every areas of life is mess. I don't have my life together.

I barely put any effort in anything because I just feel like my mind is giving up on everything before starting. It's like I know deep down I gotta put so much effort and life requires so much hard work and dedication. It has to go through multiple trails and failures to reach success. I feel ashamed about the fact I'm 30 yet still with no job. No college degree and skills. No friends and not driving. It's like I'm some incapable adult child.

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I applied remote customer support role for healthcare company it was just an entry level position. And I even got an email saying something like we are interested in doing an interview and below they gave a link to Microsoft teams. But when I clicked there is nothing there and so I even called the place and they said sorry it's probably a scam. We didn't send out an emails to you and aren't hiring for this position. I even said I applied on indeed but I don't understand how does indeed allow fake job postings. This feels like they are basically collecting data from everyone. How are you supposed to be safe and understand if a job posting is legit?

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I don't know what to do in life. I have so many doubts about myself. Everyone else has their careers set, got jobs, some even moved abroad, got married. My main problem feels like it's too late for me, and in this worry, I don't even try anything. I just end up passing time with doubts and overthinking. I don't know how to get out of this.

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Life mein kya karna hai kuch nahi pata. Khud par itne doubts hote hain. Sab ka career set ho gaya, jobs lag gayi, some toh abroad move ho gaye hain, shaadi kar li. Meri toh main problem aisi lagti hai as if mere liye toh bohot late ho chuka hai, aur is chinta mein kuch try nahi karta. Sirf doubts aur overthinking mein hi time pass ho jata hai. Pata nahi kaise is cheez se baahar nikloon.

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Life mein kya karna hai kuch nahi pata. Khud par itne doubts hote hain. Sab ka career set ho gaya, jobs lag gayi, some toh abroad move ho gaye hain, shaadi kar li. Meri toh main problem aisi lagti hai as if mere liye toh bohot late ho chuka hai, aur is chinta mein kuch try nahi karta. Sirf doubts aur overthinking mein hi time pass ho jata hai. Pata nahi kaise is cheez se baahar nikloon.

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I don't know what to do in life. I have so many self-doubts. Everyone's career is set, they've got jobs, some have even moved abroad and gotten married. My problem seems to be that it's too late for me, and I'm so worried I don't try anything. My time is just spent in doubts and overthinking. I don't know how to get out of this.

Life mein kya karna hai kuch nahi pata. Khud par itne doubts hote hain. Sab ka career set ho gaya, jobs lag gayi, some toh abroad move ho gaye hain, shaadi kar li. Meri toh main problem aisi lagti hai as if mere liye toh bohot late ho chuka hai, aur is chinta mein kuch try nahi karta. Sirf doubts aur overthinking mein hi time pass ho jata hai. Pata nahi kaise is cheez se baahar nikloon.

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Today is one year my mother passed away and few extended family relatives called for formality. One person said be good and make progress in life. But I just can't stop thinking why they said that and I do indeed want to make progress in my life however I just don't have any direction in life and it's so hard to navigate life. Maybe they meant like having good education so your future can be secured or getting married or doing everything society requires to be a functional adult.

My family is so hypocrite they posted my mom photo on whatsapp stories but didn't even have the audacity to call. Just to show everyone how caring and respectful they are or just a formality. Like I just can't believe how shameless people are. In this year of span, I've realized my family colors. Like a bunch of shameless people. I thought when my mom was gone that my family would accept us and instead they make us feel apart. And then posting stories on Whatsapp and Facebook to show society how caring and giving they are. I just like want to say something to them so badly.

Why have corporations become so greedy to a point they even started shrinking their products and giving poor quality but also making the items overpriced. Like I see this in mostly food items, hygiene products and household items.. like the ingredients and quality almost feels like watered down. And it feels like your not getting your money worth. Gas prices are high. All of a sudden even a gallon of milk has increased. Apartments are finding every tiny ways to suck you your money. I recently saw an apartment that included washer and dryer but they said it's extra charge to rent or you can buy your own. Then they charge for parking. Jobs are difficult to find even simple as entry level where they are required to do multiple rounds of interviews. And worst of all is they don't increase salary based on inflation..it's difficult for many people to even survive.

Those who decided to go college what did you guys pursue. Are people still choosing majors like computer science and engineering to get solid jobs and secure future. I want to go community college.

I feel so gullible whenever someone talks so sweetly to a point their intentions are only to use someone and take advantage. Like they are just good at manipulation. They are excellent at lying. I don't know how they have this much talent. And worst part of all is majority of people just do not recognize the person traits or intentions. Like even if they want to know something or want to find out something, they literally have the ability of smart communication.

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I always keep getting recommendations to find a career or job in healthcare. But I always thought it is nursing and doctors. But when I went to emergency room for gallstone pain. I realized wow there are so many jobs. There are people who transport patients from one room to another. There are people who doing X-ray and MRI tech. There are different types of nurses. There are people working in insurance and there is front desk and security. I guess maybe there are many other jobs. It's crazy how big this medical and healthcare field really is.