u/EasyConversation9858

I’m in my final year of a BA and I’m older than most of my classmates because my educational journey was not straightforward.

After school, I took a different path, struggled with depression, dropped out of engineering, had gap years, and eventually ended up pursuing History. When I joined college, my parents advised me not to discuss my age with classmates. At first I intended to reveal it later, but then I noticed people making judgmental comments about students who had gap years or who were older than the rest of the batch.

So I never corrected people’s assumptions.

One year became two. Two became three.

Today only a handful of people from college know my actual age. Most of my classmates don’t.

Recently, one of my classmates suddenly asked about my real age in a group chat. Nothing dramatic happened, but it made me realize how much anxiety I’ve built around this issue.

The strange thing is that I’m not ashamed of my academic journey itself. If I could go back, I would still leave engineering because it was the wrong path for me. What I’m ashamed of is how much effort I’ve put into hiding something as simple as my age.

At the same time, I don’t like the feeling of being pushed into revealing personal information because someone else decided to make it a topic of discussion.

I’m also dealing with uncertainty about admissions, future studies, career choices, and feeling disconnected from most people around me. I have acquaintances and people I talk to, but I often feel like I’m navigating everything alone.

Has anyone else here:
Had gap years?
Been significantly older than their classmates?
Hidden parts of their life because they feared judgment?
Felt out of sync with people their own age?
How did you deal with it, and did telling the truth eventually make things easier or harder?

I’m from Navi Mumbai and recently completed TYBA.
Due to a complicated educational journey (stream changes, gap years, depression, dropping out of a previous course, etc.), I’m older than most people in my class.
When I first joined college, my parents advised me not to discuss my age. At first I followed that advice temporarily, but then I noticed some people making judgmental comments about students who had gap years. That made me hesitant to reveal my actual age.
Over time, I simply stopped correcting people’s assumptions. Eventually almost everyone in my batch assumed I was around the same age as them.
Now, after nearly 3 years, one of my classmates has suddenly started asking about my real age in a group chat and is also asking why I never celebrate my birthday with classmates.
The thing is, I’m not ashamed of my life journey itself. What bothers me is feeling like I’m being pushed into revealing something personal on someone else’s terms rather than my own.
At the same time, I also realize that continuing to dodge the question forever may not be realistic.
Has anyone else been significantly older than their classmates because of gap years, career changes, depression, dropping out, etc.?
If you were in my position, would you:
Continue treating your age as a private matter?
Give a vague answer and move on?
Just tell everyone the truth and get it over with?
I’m especially interested in hearing from people who had non-traditional educational paths.

I’m from Navi Mumbai. I just completed TYBA with History major and Political Science minor. Ever since college ended, I feel like my mind has been collapsing in on itself.

On the outside I probably look calm and functional because I’m still applying to colleges, talking to professors, filling forms, calling departments and looking into honours/MA options. But internally I feel like I’m panicking almost every day.

I already had gap/drop years earlier in life and I constantly feel like I’m behind everyone else. Every time I open YouTube, Reddit, LinkedIn, Twitter or the news, it’s all layoffs, AI replacing jobs, recession fears, overqualification, unemployment, people with engineering/MBA degrees struggling, people abroad struggling, people in India struggling even more.

And here I am with a humanities degree trying to figure out what the hell I’m even supposed to do.

The worst part is that I actually care about things deeply. I care about politics, history, journalism, society, ethics, global affairs and how systems work. But the more aware I become, the more hopeless everything sometimes feels.

I thought about law at one point, but honestly I don’t think I believe in the system enough to become a lawyer. Journalism interests me a lot more, but then I see how unstable media careers are, how underpaid many journalists are and how much political and corporate pressure exists there too.

Then people suggest public policy, academia, HR, government exams, international relations, think tanks, tourism, MBA later, mass media and a hundred other things. Every person gives different advice.

One professor tells me honours is better.
Another says MA is safer.
Another says public policy.
Another says media.
Another says just get employable somehow.

And I genuinely don’t know which voice to trust anymore, including my own.

Even on Reddit, every career subreddit feels terrifying. One thread says don’t go into journalism because it’s dead. Another says don’t do humanities because there are no jobs. Another says don’t do MBA unless you’re from a top college. Another says law is oversaturated. Another says government exams waste years of your life. Another says AI will replace entry-level white collar jobs anyway. Everywhere I look, people sound exhausted, regretful or trapped.

I’ve also struggled mentally for a long time. I have a history of depression and overthinking, and recently it has gotten much worse because of all this uncertainty. Sometimes my brain goes into complete catastrophe mode where every wrong decision feels life-ending. I keep thinking that if I fail now, I’ll disappoint my parents, waste my potential and end up trapped in a life I hate.

I’ve had thoughts of self-harm and suicidal thoughts too, not because I actually want to die deep down, but because my brain feels exhausted and cornered by fear about the future. I know that sounds heavy, but I wanted to be honest because pretending everything is fine clearly isn’t helping me anymore.

Right now I’m trying for honours/FYUGP options in colleges like K J Somaiya College of Arts and Commerce while also looking at MA pathways. My professors are helping me, my dad is trying to help too, and objectively I know my life is not “over.” But emotionally I still feel terrified almost every day.

I don’t even know exactly what advice I’m asking for. Maybe I just want to know if someone else has ever felt this overwhelmed and directionless after graduation and still somehow managed to build a meaningful life afterward.